Yearbook
by rockpaperscissorslizardrock
Summary: Just because Santana graduated, doesn't mean Brittany will escape her wrath.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is really just a teaser...**

September 9th, (FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAAAARR!)

I never told her this, but I thought it was just the most romantic thing. Like, if anyone ever wrote that for me, I'd probably find a way to have their children.

What I _did_ try to tell her is that this was the most dangerous person to bare her soul to. The one person you shouldn't even make eye contact with, much less hand your heart over to. Britt wouldn't listen though. She kept writing this note. Insisting that it was her last chance. I said…how could you have a last chance when there was no first one? Have you spoken to her? I don't think I've ever even seen you in the same room together.

"Kurt," She said, with the most intense stare I'd ever seen on her freckled face. "She needed to know."

"Britt. She is ferocious. Half of last year's senior class transferred before the end of the year…"

"Not because of her…"

"Brittany, let's be real. They're scared of her, so they don't blame her…but it's her."

"She barely even speaks."

"She either doesn't need to or –"

"You don't even know her. You don't know what you're talking about."

"And you do?"

I didn't get an answer. I don't think I'd ever seen her that close to being angry. Or determined. This meant something to her and only now am I starting to get it.

She made a notebook full of drafts and the final product was just printed out last May. Why she didn't just write it in The Demon's personal yearbook, I'll never know. She's not too scared to profess her love to a heartless beast, but she's terrified of asking to sign her yearbook…so she publishes it for the ENTIRE SCHOOL to read…Brittany S. Pierce is an enigma.

I wasn't scared for her on the last day of school…I was more scared for today, you know? Surely everyone's spent the entire summer scheduling group meet ups at the Lima Bean just to analyze the crap out of this beautiful piece of …well, poetry. I told her to at least hide it in the back with the dedications, but there's no way people didn't find it…and once they did…Oh God… It's usually me, you know. I'm the one who's on the receiving end of a palpable tension as I walk through McKinley's halls. So I can handle it. Admittedly, this was different. It wasn't that they wanted to rip her apart…more like they wanted to put her back together; figure her out. I could tell everyone just wanted to lay on their stomachs, lean on their elbows, and cross their legs behind them to gossip…or pull out a tape recorder and just interview the rainbows out of her.

So, our first class together was after lunch and I was so anxious about all the clips of conversation I'd heard without her around that I could only imagine what would occur in her presence. So I sat next to her in lab because I was feeling particularly Segal-esque. I knew someone was going to attack her, so instead of paying attention to the Bunsen burner, I just glared at the backs of peoples' heads, waiting for them to turn around so I could give them the look where you squint and open your eyes wide at the same time, the one that makes a person seem too psychotic to mess with? I've got that one down; at least I thought I did. It finally happened when the teacher, Mr. E, stepped out to move his car. Some girl walked right up to our table like she knew us and said, "Are you crazy?" looking to Brittany, who was concentrating on her flint striker. The girl didn't say it mendaciously, it was a sincere question.

"What?" Brittany finally said, looking up after she'd completed her task.

"Don't think she won't come back and haunt you just because she's graduated." The girl warned. "I'm surprised you made it to the first day of school."

"Well, of course she's going to show up!" I find myself screeching, so I lower my voice, "What's she got to be afraid of?"

"No I mean as in _physically_ made it. Like…how are you not dead yet…My bet is that Santana didn't bother getting a yearbook so you might've escaped her wrath. Had she done so—"

"I was reading the obituaries every day looking for your name." Some guy chuckled.

Brittany shrugged.

By this time the class had surrounded our table. And Brittany was met with a flock of adoring stares from every student.

Well this was not at all what I was expecting.

"Will you write my wedding vows, Britt?" Some girl blushed as she squeezed to the front of the crowd.

"I cry every time I read it, you know." Came another voice.

"Me too." Came a response .

_Everytime?_ I thought. _Bitches be trippin._

"Let's all just hope we can find someone as talented with words and generous with their heart as Ms. Pierce." Mr. E had re-entered with a wink.

Students went back to their seats.

Needless to say I'm still flabbergasted. I spent the rest of the class with a blank stare and slightly slackened jaw.

Sure, I'm glad. I am. I just…I can't help but be a little jealous. Had I written something so vulnerable I'd be ostracized…But let's be honest here. I could never write something so divine. I can only stay envious momentarily because the girl deserves the every bit of praise. Forget every ode, every couplet; all the iambic pentameter in every Shakespearean anthology can't amount to this note…

I wish I could convey the sweetness of this writing. You'll just have to read it for yourself, Dear Diary.


	2. Chapter 2

Britt's Log, Stardate 2012.9.

You're not gonna believe me.

I forgot!

Stop looking at me like that. I seriously forgot.

Got caught up in writing my glorious masterpiece. I didn't want to mention flowers, or the moon, or anything that wasn't her. So, I just ended up writing every little bit of our story… and forgot it wasn't for her eyes only. So at first, I was like…yuck; all these non-Santana eyes looking at her special present. I ran home the last day of school before anyone could get to the back of the yearbook, I didn't want to hear the jokes. But then summer happened. And all I got were a few sappy stares. I didn't understand those…like, why were they sorry for me? I mean, it's not like I don't know who she is…It's not like I'm not scared of her. I am. Scared as LT is of sudden noises (and I know you're reading this so please try not to be offended because you brought it on yourself). That's why I couldn't a ask to write in her book…she'd probably let out this howling NO that I'd hear all the way home. Worse would be her cackle if I'd I asked her to write in mine…Not to mention doing either would be against the rules. And she said if we were going to be…whatever…we had to follow the rules...I thought I'd listed them in here once…like first time we met?…but it couldn't have been then. No, because we barely spoke that time. All she did was throw balls at my face.

The players don't usually talk to the manager, you see. Even though I get to keep score and record every spike, I'm also the last to leave because I have to pick up all the left over volleyballs and lock up the gym when it's a home game. It's a tough job…but it's the only way I can be on a team and maintain my decent GPA…it's a deal my peer tutor cooked up with Coach Bieste. Cool right? Well..it was until I felt the sting of a volleyball colliding with the back of my legs. I took off my headphones and turned around. But before I could see who it was, another smacked my face and it felt like thousands more were being hurled at me non-stop.

"OW! STOP!" I remember saying while blocking as many as I could.

The blur of a long dark ponytail went back to the ball cage for ammo.

"NO! NO! Come on! I was almost done! What're you—OW!"

I caught one. And started blocking every shot with that ball until I finally wound up and threw it as hard as I could at the ponytail. The force threw her forward and the top half of her body bent into the cage. I picked up as many stray balls as I could and approached. She slowly unfolded herself and turned to me once we stood next to each other facing the cage.

"Oh my God." I said out loud, dropping the balls in the cage. That's all I wanted to do anyway…I wasn't going to sneak attack. Promise.

Definitely not now. Now that I saw her face, I knew I was dead. I just hit Santana fucking Lopez with a volleyball! I should have guessed though. Who else would do something so randomly mean?

"Sorry," I said softly, looking at my feet. But all I saw were her sneakers walking away. By the time I looked up, she was across the gym and out the door.

You remember how much I cried that night. Your pages are all tear stained and wrinkly. It wasn't because of the volleyball bruises; it was because I knew I was in for it the next day. Like reaaaallly in for it. There was going to be some kind of STD rumor spread about me, or I was going to have to visit the hospital with a collapsed lung from a mechanical pencil stabbing or something. This girl is _not_ to be fucked with. She will ruin your life without batting a beautiful eye. And who was I? Just this junior…an awesome, kickass junior…but still just a nameless junior to her. I liked to keep it that way. I like my handful of friends, I liked that they were the only ones who knew how super hilarious I am, and how I can bust a fricken move…I miss that.

Ever since the note came out. I've become this crazy popular celebrity at McKinley. Remember Lamb Chop's mom? With the nice red afro? Well she goes to my school now and carries around a camera. She only used to follow around the important people, and now I guess I'm one of them. Tons of people know my name and want to hang out…and I'm like…why are you all acting like the note was for you? It's ok if they want to pretend though…I guess if it makes them feel better…how do I tell them we're not really friends? That I don't like their weird smiles or neat hair? I'll figure it out.

Right, so the day after the volleyball war

Hold on.

Dad's yelling for dinner, K. Reconvene in like 2 hours? It's shark week and you know how he likes to leave in the bones...

This is Brittany S. Pierce, signing off. Over and out.

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**1 year earlier**

Mercedes Jones' Diary

10.31.11

Keep this on the low-low. Tell me what you think about this, Future Mercedes.

It could be nothing…but it could also be THE BEGINNING OF THE DOWNFALL OF SANTANA BEALZIBUB LOPEZ.

We both know The Devil lives at the end of my block. So walking home is always this awkward dance where I purposely stroll so that she's a few steps ahead of me. I don't trust her to walk behind me… the one time I did, she threw bagels at the back of my head all the way through central park—so I have to walk slow and wait for the light like half a block away…Today I noticed that she wasn't walking with her sister. The nice Lopez; Santana actually _is _an evil twin. But I figured that's who she must be talking to on the phone…because she giggled. I've barely ever heard the sound of her voice, but the raspy giggle completely threw me off. I guess it caught her too because she quickly stopped herself and said "No," into the phone. She was talking about "calling it even" and that she'd meet the person later tonight for trick or treating.

TRICK OR WHAT? Santana Lopez Treats? I mean we all know she a trick!

I followed her as far as I could. She was like, dragging her feet…and I could see her smiling as she checked for traffic when we crossed. I'd never seen that before. It was huge, with these gorgeous white teeth… and there were dimples!….not only was she human, but she was actually really pretty. I know! Shit cray! Then, wait for this, she starts twirling the end of her ponytail with her free hand. THIS was when I knew she wasn't talking to Johana, her twin. This was a smitten Santana. Classic crush characteristics. I didn't hear any more juicy stuff before I had to turn off into my house. You would think from the way she was standing at the corner with her legs crossed that she was like having phone sex or something; even though she was just listening. Like the sound of this person's voice was _that_ good. Right. I'm so sure.

…am I?

OH MY GOD I'M NOT!

I stormed up in this piece (AKA my room) earlier and paced back and forth…I skipped dinner and everything because I was dying of curiosity. Like, who was this guy? She'd pretty much obliterated every male in our school…was it a college boy? A _TEACHER?_

Before I know it, I'm throwing on a pink wig and purple corset and calling myself Nicki Minaj while I trick or treat. The parents think I'm crazy because I say a half ass "It's Barbie Bitch" every time they open the door, while looking at the yards around me for Lopez. It took me a long time to realize that she might actually have worn a costume….I know it's Halloween, but I didn't think she would ever …nevertheless

…there she was, three yards away in a full black Venom leotard with a unicorn next to her, making her laugh –that sound was the only reason I knew it was Santana. The unicorn was like, fully encased in mascot uniform. And how he had the time to rap his 'horn' in rainbow tassels is beyond me. What school was that? I made a mental note to Google all nearby college and university mascots. They walked really close together and kept bumping shoulders.

Finally, I got close enough to hear,

"No, not even once" from Santana.

The unicorn's voice was so muffled under the head that I had to guess at the questions. Something like:

"Can _I?_"

"No. You can not." Santana said sternly.

"Just for a second. You're really missing out you know."

"Doubt it. I said no one else has…what makes you think you can?" Santana whispered harshly.

The unicorn turned its head towards Santana. I don't know what it did, but she smiled like an angel. I was almost floored. Good thing I kept it together because I would have missed her very quiet "Fine," and the Unicorn's 'hoof' reach for her hand. It played out in slow motion. I sped up as they got closer and when Santana was a centimeter away from reciprocating the handhold, her dumb brother pushed past me and into them. They call him Mo (I hear his full name's Montana, HA!).

Anyway, as soon as he pushed between them I must have made some kind of noise…pretty sure it was a loud "DAMNIT!" and they all turned back to face me. 4 coffee brown eyes and two sky blue ones (those were all I could see through the mascot head). I almost lost my breath at those, though. They were amazing. But then Santana growled. So I ran.

Now here I am. I just got off the phone with Kurt about it and he sounded so weird.

"You _followed _them?"

"Yes?… I've followed people before…I don't—"

"Did you see who she was with?" He was like, nervous or something…angry?

"_No_, Kurt. What's you're problem?"

"Nothing. I just…I think that was kind of…dangerous. And a huge invasion of privacy."

"Ex_cuse_ me? Um, if I'm not mistaken, Hummel, we've done the same thing _together_ more than once…so don't you go judging me."

"Mercedes. This is Santana Lopez…"

"So what? You scared?"

"No…but I think you should just let her be…"

"Are you actually defending her right now?"

"Well…yes. Listen Mercedes, I just don't want to become one of these bullies who push me into lockers everyday. If Santana wants to date—"

"TIME OUT. A) _Santana_ is the bully; and B) what does her having a boyfriend have to do with the homophobes who make your life miserable?"

He gave me a deep sigh. "Nothing I guess….Just don't start acting like Jacob Ben Israel"

"Oh gosh."

"See?…strikingly similar, right?"

I start laughing at myself and say, "Next thing you know I'll be reporting on the almost handhold!"

"WAIT A MINUTE. Just WAIT A MINUTE! There was a potential handhold?"

"Well, well, well, Little Miss Gossip's come out to play."

His tone of voice completely changed, "Oh my God… She wasn't kidding…they really do like each other."

"Helloooo, I'm right here. And no I wasn't. She's got like…a heart and shit."

"No, Not you—" He was somewhere else.

"—What?"

"I gotta go. Call you later."

"Kurt!...KURT?"

"Mercedes."

"I was gonna say! You_ better_ not hang up on me!"

"Mercedes, listen to me very closely."

"What is it? You're scaring me Kurt."

"Please just keep this to yourself."

"ARE YOU KI—"

"Mercedes. Swear on our friendship that you will keep this to yourself. It's really important to me. I don't want anyone getting hurt."

"Yes. Yes. Fine Kurt…we'll pinky swear on it tomorrow."

"You read my mind."

"Ugh…you're lucky I love you."

"Bye Mercedes Benz."

"Bye Kurt Cameron."

"It's Kirk…but he's cute..so I'll let it slide."

So since he left me with no one to share this juicy juicy news with, I turn to you, Future Me. I really hope you haven't told anyone because…that probably means you and Kurt aren't friends…you wouldn't do that would you? RESIST GIRL, RESIST!

Oh gosh. Look at me lecturing my future self…I'm like that weird junior girl who Artie tutors…he says she's a trip.

I should go before I start doodling blueprints for a time machine in here.

Peace Out

**A/N: M206: **Yes they will eventually meet! Actually they've already met... Keep an eye on dates because the story is will sometimes be told backwards :)

**Nayalove:** History indeed...P.S. Thanks for consistently writing reviews, it really means a lot and I read each and every one :)

**Conri: **Thank you!

**ShibbiRose:** I am, huh? haha

**CGB21: **Will do!

**PaperRomance: **Hahaha Glad to hear it!

**Jaime: **Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

**Chapters in 2012- They've met, the note has been published.**

**Chapters in 2011- They're in the process of meeting. No note (yet).**

**As always, Thanks for the reviews!**

**/**

Santana's Secrets

10/20/2011

-Tell anyone and I'll kill you –

I like to document my mistakes. We all know I'm fucking immaculate, so when they happen it's like this rarity…every seven years type of shit. Usually it's in math or something even more useless…but the past couple of days it's been...Something else.

…

She just shouldn't have been bending over that way to pick up the volleyballs…you're supposed to bend your knees, not do this stripper-bend toe-touch…so I threw a volleyball at her to get her to stop it. She turned around so quickly that a few strands of hair got caught on her lip-gloss. She gave me this pout… scrunched her nose right where the freckles started, and I could see speckles of deep blue even though her eyes were squinting…my stomach actually flipped. So I threw more volleyballs.

When she threw one back at me…I could have killed her. Or died of laughter…Both reactions kind of hit me at the same time. So I left before I did either. Of all the girls on the team, the only one _not_ wearing sleeveless spandex and skintight shorts _would _be the one I can't get out of my head. Not like that. Shut up. She's just the only person in the entire school who still sends smiles my way. It's off putting. And the last place I need to see her is the court where I annihilate bitches. I can't be in the zone when I look past my serve and see this…ugh…this _face_. Looking right at me. Watching me_. No one does that anymore._ I made sure of it, no eye contact. You wanna speak to me? Talk to my sister…we're identical.; same shit. Or relay your message through my brother. But don't bother me. And it's like this little blonde thing hasn't known me since first grade. We both know she has! I guess she doesn't value her life, though—Like, what the fuck? I hoped after the volleyball pelting she'd learned.

And maybe she did…but something weird was happening with …me.

The next day, I saw her by her locker. Her lip was split and she rolled up her sleeves while she was getting her books. There were big red splotchy welts all over her forearms, one on her chin too…she didn't see me looking, but when she touched her wounded lip, she winced…we winced at the same time.

What is this wincing? I usually smile when someone's in pain…

I wanted to throw up.

Instead I found my feet taking me to her side as the bell rang. You know what she does? She smiles.

"Listen," I say rolling my eyes. I can hear her quietly gasp at the sound of my voice. "I uh…can we call it even?"

She looked around as the hall cleared and people scurried to their classes (and away from me). She had eyes like a cat, almond shaped and tilted up as if they were smiling. Once the hall was empty she spoke…well first her eyes flashed and she smirked. I'm not gonna lie, I flinched and took notice of how much taller than me she was…and I wasn't completely opposed to what she might be able to do to me...wait…what?

I had been facing her, leaning on the locker next to hers with one shoulder, so we were already kind of close. But she inched closer as she shut her locker, when she spoke her breath warmed my lips.

"I decide when we're even." She said.

And before I could move, she took my bottom lip in hers and looked at me as she sucked on it hard, when my brow furrowed she smirked and tugged harder. My eyes widened and she bit down. _Hard_. Something between a moan and a scream escaped my mouth and echoed down the empty hallway as she pulled away. Embarrassing as all hell….My question is this: WHY WAS THERE A GROWING PULSE IN MY NETHER REGIONS? How in the hell was she turning me on?

I touched my lip, and the lightest trickle of blood made it's way down my finger. I looked at her and her brows were lifted, but her lips were in a straight line, as if to say "oh well" , but in the nicest way. To my defense, I did not choke her. You should be proud. I know I am. I did turn her around and slam her front into the lockers, twisting her arm behind her and pressing myself into her back. She hissed in pain.

"You seem to have forgotten who's boss." I said into the shell of her ear through gritted teeth.

"No I remember," She said. _Were those her fingers playing with the hem of my skirt? _I had been holding the imposing hand at the small of her back, palm up, which meant they met perfectly with my—

"It was Tony Danza." She mumbled as I took my other hand and mushed the side of her face.

"Stop that," I said, as her fingers danced past the hem towards the place where my thigh would meet my underwear…had I been wearing any.

"I'm not doing anything," She whimpered.

I stopped mushing her face and just kind of slumped into her…my nose was in her hair…she smelled _good_. I wanted so bad to …let her. She was going slow. Enjoying the moisture on my inner thigh…ohhh my God why was I so excited? That's when I saw her smile and lick her lips…

"SHIT!" I said, pushing her away abruptly.

She quickly turned around, looking like a deer in headlights…panting and terrified, but was that…a little bit of thrill in her eyes?

I pointed to her face, "Don't fuck with me junior, got me?"

"Got you," She nodded, looking down…but just as I completed my turn to leave…I saw her look up and grin. I looked back and she was skipping away.

She knew.

I've _never_ let anyone walk away. And technically, this made two times for her…CUT THE SHIT, LOPEZ.

So that was my first mistake…

My second was going to the pep rally today. What does a badass do at a pep rally? She broods mostly. But she also sends her little brother a supportive wink just to see him beam. As a junior, he's the youngest captain the boys' volleyball team has ever seen and I'll be damned if anyone gives him shit. Oh…and I guess I'm kind of required to show as captain of the girls team…but that's whatever.

You know what? Going to the pep rally wasn't the mistake. It was sitting in the bleachers. Who else would dare sit next to me? She actually _moved from her seat_. I know this because she couldn't blend in if she tried. My eye was immediately drawn to the swinging blonde ponytail in the front row; and as if she could feel me climbing to my seat, she turned and we exchanged this look. Part glare. Part…I don't know…fucking fire.

Next thing I know she's right next to me and we're standing together for a cheer. Everyone's arms were up. Not mine. And not hers. She was actually facing me…making me…what was that? Nervous? WAS I NERVOUS? I look around and realize no one else is paying attention to her ridiculous stare down. There's a hoop on fire and everyone's rushing past us to the front row in the hopes that someone'll end up in flames. Finally, I look at her as the stampede ends…we've ended up at the back of the crowd…and she still watching me. She's got a note in her hand and she dragging the folded piece of paper down my back and slipping it in my back pocket. I turn quickly and give her a death glare, but all she does is squeeze. She _actually_ takes a palm full of my ass and squeezes as she lets go of the note. I tilt my head to warn her.

She brings her lips to my ear and whispers, "You should know, Figgins is right behind you."

I purse my lips.

She smiles, takes her hand out and do you know what she does? – I give her credit for having _cojones_. –She actually smacks my ass. Just enough to sting. I turn around to see if I can sneak in a sucker punch without Figgins noticing. He's nowhere to be found.

"GOTCHYA!" She yells and takes off like a fucking BULLET, laughing like a hyena . But I was right behind her.

"You think it's a GAME?" I scream as I push through the crowd to chase her. When we hit the floor of the gym I am full on sprinting, The cheer squad pyramid is tumbling to the ground around us. The blonde is still looking back every once in a while with that crazy smile. …pretty sure I smiled back by mistake…_shit_…It took them 20 minutes to catch us. At one point it felt like we were on the same team, but I kept chasing those long legs. Finally, a Bieste hand held us each by the wrist. It took the headbitch Quinn BARELY missing the firehoop on her voyage to the ground for the audience to stop laughing…and for us to be suspeneded (Only after attempting to recruit us for the track team).

Well, mine got bumped down to a warning…

"What do you mean your fault?"

"I mean, I started it." She said with a smile.

Figgins looked to me and I shrugged.

"Brittany…you haven't a mark on your record, and this one—"

"Ugh, why can't you be as nice as you are on the Simpsons?" She said earnestly.

I couldn't help but crack up. Holy shit this—Brittany, was it?—was a trip.

"Ms. PIERCE! How many times do I have to tell you I am not Apu?"

"I understand you're in witness protection, but—"

"Fine. Ms. Lopez, you get off with a warning. Ms. Pierce, you will take on both yours and her 3 day suspensions."

I left immediately; it was my own form of punishment…the desperation I felt about needing to see her reaction was too much. Why did I want her to look at me? Why didn't I want her to be upset?

GOOD GOD LOPEZ.

I cheated a little bit and read the note on my way home today…

It said:

_Thanks for the locker shove love...my fingers smelled so amaaaazing_

If I told you I drooled, would you still respect me?

**A/N 2: ShibbiRose: **Thank you so much!

**M206: **and that you shall get!

**PaperRomance: **They met before the note, at the beginning of the school year. The note was published at the end of the school year. It's a bit tangled, but I think you've pretty much got it.

**NayaLove: **No, you are! :)

**Vero: **Haha, you've totally got it! But…what's PMS? (Other than the one we've all heard of, ha).


	5. Chapter 5

Quinn Undercover

10.22.**11**

Note to self and possibly Figgins:

If Brittany Susan Pierce was suspended…why the _fucking hell_ is she in the gym right now? First day of suspension and she's already here after school? AND why wasn't Santana Who-the-fuck-cares-what-her-middle-name-is Lopez suspended? AND FINALLY (and probably most importantly), why are they alone in the gym? No one nearly burns the skin I work so hard to keep clean and clear and under control, and gets away with a warning and a dumbass suspension…

Ok I'm done asking questions. But only because I might be missing out on some good conversation…you should know that I'm currently hiding in a rolled up mat, so I'm going to have to strain to hear anything, but I've got a spectacular view:

Pierce is sitting on the bleachers waiting for Lopez to turn around. Turn around fucker! (REMEMBER TO OMIT WHEN SUBMITTING TO FIGGINS). Lopez…is too busy picking up volleyballs? I guess with Pierce being suspended its up to the captain. HA! I mean—Oh shit, she just jumped at the sight of Pierce; I guess she didn't see her before. Silence. She continues to pick up the balls like nothing. Pierce is watching Lopez…

20 fucking minutes. The two most stubborn motherfuckers I've ever seen, I swear. Pierce won't leave and Lopez won't—Oh shit—

"So I throw volleyballs and you come back for more?" She doesn't stop picking up the balls…taking the longest time possible, obviously hoping the cold shoulder will take effect. But Pierce doesn't respond…who _is_ this girl?

Lopez puts the last ball in a bag. Standing directly behind Pierce, she crosses her arms and says.

"If you're here, why don't you do your own damn job?"

"I'm not allowed," Pierce whispers.

Lopez rolls her demon eyes, "You're not allowed to be here at all…you snuck in just to sit here?"

"Well…I wanted to say sorry. "

"Of the innumerable reasons you should be, which one did you choose?" Lopez takes a seat next to Pierce.

"Well, I'm sorry for the note…"

"As you should be."

"…I wasn't completely honest."

"What?" Lopez has her hands by her side and is leaning forward impatiently.

"I meant to write more about how my fingers tasted. And that I was hoping—"

"OH MY GOD!"

_OH MY GOD—_Sorry, that's me. In my head. BUT OH MY GOD!

Lopez stands up and her eyes look like they're going to pop out of her head.

"You can't just say stuff like that! What's wrong with you?"

Pierce is looking up, confused.

"Yes I can. I can say whatever I want."

"No you can not. Especially not to me."

"Who are you?" Pierce stands. It's not a threat, it's more like she really doesn't see the difference between Santana and, well everyone else. She may or may not be crazy.

"I'm Santana…" Wait a second…now Lopez looks kind of…lost? Maybe a little intimidated? I recognize that face _and_ that feeling…she hasn't been challenged in a while.

"I know _that_, silly. I just don't understand why I can't tell you that you taste good. Because you really do." She says it like she just wished the girl a happy birthday.

"Do you always do this shit?" Now Lopez is crossing her arms and…blushing? "Say exactly what's on your mind?"

Pierce shrugs. "If you're not saying what's on your mind, then what are you saying?"

Lopez is shaking her head. "No…that's just …it doesn't work that way."

"Yes it does." Pierce starts prancing on the bleachers like they're balance beams. "I can tell you I want to wrap your legs around my neck and that's ok. Because that's how I feel right now. Plus, I just did it and it's too late for you to stop me."

Lopez sits and tries so hard not to look flustered. "Well…I—I can tell you I want to wrap my hands around your neck then…and—and squeeze."

Pierce chuckles. "You can…but that's not what's really on your mind."

"And what the fuck do you know about what I'm thinking?"

Pierce straddles the bleacher that Lopez is side-saddling and scoots right up into her space.

"A lot." She's hissing. "I know what your _really_ want is for me to kiss that busted lip and make it all better" She leans in and drags her thumb carefully down Lopez's bottom lip. "…don't you babe?"

"Stop," Lopez is basically talking into Pierces mouth. And might I add I've never heard a "stop" that sounded more like a "GO".

Pierce's crazy ass continues…they're both whispering … no point in speaking any louder, seeing as they're basically inside each others' mouths, Christ. Pierce's legs are spread and she's leaning forward on her hands…which look to be brushing Santana's thigh.

"I know I can smell you from here and you're thinking you might leave a mess on this bleacher…"

Lopez is looking at Pierce's lips and breathing like she just did the mile run in under a minute.

"It's ok if you do…I mean, I have no problem cleaning it up."

"Jesus, Brittany." Lopez says.

Pierce is closing the space between them...not much to do, it's a matter of centimeters.

But Lopez gets up, moving like she's got stone legs…regretting it as she goes.

Pierce shrugs and goes back to prancing around.

"I've always wanted to be your friend, you know. Me and your brother get along really well…and when I go to your house, I pretend to go to the bathroom just so I can watch you do your homework."

Lopez is standing now with crossed arms and a burgeoning smile.

"I noticed…creep."

"How come you're not nice like Johana?"

"Uh…Because I'm _not_ Johana."

"Duh. I didn't ask why you're not her. I ask why you're not nice LIKE her…obviously you're much more interesting…It's just that _everyone_ loves her…wouldn't it be easier to just—"

"No it would not. It would not be easier. My sister's a good girl. Even I like her, but…for her to stay that way, I had to change."

Pierce stops prancing. "What?"

Lopez slams her hands down and starts laughing—fucking maniac. "What am I doing talking to some junior about this stuff?"

"Who else are you going to talk to?"

"HEY!" Lopez climbs up to where Pierce has ended up. "I may have let you bite me. I may have let you spank me, but that's where it ends, K? You took my suspension and I owe you. As soon as we're even, we're done."

"K fine. I'm not even going to ask why it's so important to you that we're even because I know you'll just lie about it…when the truth is you feel bad."

Lopez shuffles her feet.

Pierce tilts her head and dances her eyes over Lopez's face while still smiling. She's pretending to think…but it's obvious she's stalling. Boggles the mind to think that someone would want to spend _more_ time with Lopez. She's eyeing her neck like it's her last fucking meal…Lopez is trying to be nonchalant, but no one stands with their legs crossed like that.

"Enough." Lopez says shakily.

"Right. Ok….I was thinking that I could whisper it in your ear."

"Absofuckinglutely not, Farrah. No. Just say what you want."

"Well," Pierce slides up to Lopez and whispers in her ear anyway, but her hands are folded politely behind her back. "You know what I want,"

Pierce lingers …and Lopez bites her lip, closing her eyes for a second.

"But, if you won't give me _that_…" Pierce steps back and here eyes dart between Lopez's tightly folded legs—_oh—_

"…I'd like you to go trick or treating with me."

Lopez clenches her jaw. Grabs her bag and-oh God she's pushing Pierce out to lock up! Excuse me while I exit through the backdoor.

**A/N:**

**ShibbiRose – **Thank you sooo much! And thanks for following my other stories. Glad you're enjoying this one too! I have fun writing their little moments :)

**PaperRomance –** HAHAHAHA I didn't know stalker things could be cute! Hilarious.

**NayaLove – **Yes, Santana and Mercedes chapters were both in 2011. Brittany's chapters will almost always be in 2012 (telling the story in retrospect) to keep part of the narration in the present for when Santana comes back…oops…I've said to much! Ha. Thanks so much! Glad you're enjoying it!

**Definitelyalopez –**You don't know how much of a compliment that is…I read so many fantastic stories on here that I get worried about being orginal! So thank you!

**Elizitro – **Thank you. The dates will continue to jump around and it may seem 'jumpy', but I know you guys can keep up :)

**Thank you!**

******A/N2: Also, if you're confused about why Britt is too shy/scared to confront Santana in Ch. 1, but is a tease in the rest of the chapters (which technically happen BEFORE chapter 1)...remember the DATES. Something must have happened between the beginning of the year and the end of the year to make her just as scared as everyone else, right? I could wait til next update to say that...but I wanted to clear it up sooner rather than later :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Brittany's Chapters will almost always be written in retrospect; telling the story backwards from 2012. It's not to confuse you, it's because there will be parts of the story that take place in 2012…when Santana comes back. **

Britt's Log, Stardate **2012**. 9

(after dinner)

Ok…so where was I?

(Dinner was fantastic by the way, thanks for asking…rude.)

Right. The day after the volleyball war…it was…weird…

I mean, I was angry…or sad or something, and as soon as I saw Santana…I actually wanted to let her know. When she flinched as I got close to her…well, I felt this new power…like maybe she wasn't so tough. I found out that she really is, though. She really is that tough…I mean don't try and cop a feel while she's beating you up, she's super scary when she finds out. But even though she went back to being scary…there are these few minutes when I feel like _she_ might be scared of _me. _I like those minutes. In those minutes she surrenders…and then you see the Santana she doesn't want you to see…. She won't let herself give in…but I _know_ she wants to. I may have to survive 1,000 broken noses—not at once though! I don't have a thousand of those—, but I'm going to knock until _that_ Santana comes out to play. . When I bit her lip and she like, whined? I pretty much wished I had gone commando too…because I really was not expecting that. I don't think she was either. I also wasn't expecting her to press against me. It hurt, but I wasn't concentrating on that…I was concentrating on the fact that she was loosening her grip the higher up on her leg that I touched…until she finally went limp. It was such a huge risk..but I honestly could not resist. I'm not sure what it is about her..I think I may have wanted her for a long time without knowing it because it's like I have to have her all the time, right away. And I think for a second she was going to let me inside. But maybe I had to ask. Or maybe she needed to know that I really wanted it.

So I wrote a note to give to her the next day. I wanted her to know it was OK….and that she was yummy and stuff. And that I never liked anyone the way I like her…of course I couldn't find the words to say all that. How do you tell someone you've barely spoken to that you think they're amazing? She does these things when no one's watching…the way she scrunches up her nose when she serves the ball, the way she listens to other people's conversations…I can tell she wants to come back. She doesn't want to be mean anymore…that's not who she really is. But she's done it so long that she even convinced herself…

So that's why I smacked her perfect ass. Mostly because I couldn't help it, but also because she needed that. She needed to play a different kind of game. I wonder how many people have squeezed Santana Lopez's butt…You've gotta try it. You'll never want to squeeze anything else ever again. If I could spend an entire day with my hand on that ass I totally, totally would. Like I'd learn to write class notes with my other hand.…

Sorry.

Anyway. I thought I should ask my peer tutor, Artie, to help me write a better note; so she would know it's more than just my lady parts talking. I was convinced that that was why she didn't respond to my trick or treating invite. She kicked me out of the gym and I almost slammed into to Quinn, who was rounding a corner from the back entrance of the gym at the same time, but she barely noticed me. She was too busy trying to catch up with Mo. When she called his name, he turned around and saw us both.

"Britt!" He waved me over.

"Montana!" Quinn waved back…I don't think she heard him say_ my_ name…

"My two favorite blondes." He said slowing down so that I could take his left side and Quinn his right.

"My favorite blonde is Zach Morris." I shrug

Quinn rolls her eyes.

Mo laughs. "I'm glad you're here Britt, I was trying to decide on my Halloween costume."

"Just go as Benjamin Bratt." Quinn says.

He gives her a quick fake smile and turns back to me.

"Go as Captain Jack Sparrow." I say

"Oh Johnny Depp. Good one." He says

"No Captain Jack Sparrow plays the character Johnny Depp."

"Right…I'll go as Sparrow."

"Oh my Gosh! I'll be Penelope Cruz! We can couple!" Quinn squeals.

"What are you gonna be, Britt?" Mo rolls his eyes without turning to Quinn.

I shrug because I don't know.

"Come over. We can decide together." He puts his arm around me and waves good-bye to Quinn.

I look back and see her give us a weird look. It bothers me for a second…

When we get to his house he goes straight for the kitchen. I've been here a thousand times, but the beauty of the place feels brand new every time. Probably where Santana gets it from. Wooden floors, large sunny rooms and people laying across furniture randomly. Mr. and Mrs. Lopez are on the couch snuggling, they say hi and that they've missed me as we pass by.

"Is…Santana home?" I ask Mo as we get to the kitchen. I know I just left her, but I thought maybe…

"Nah, I think she's still at practice." He says grazing the fridge. "Or maybe with a boyfriend."

I almost choke on the Capri sun I just started sipping.

"She uh, has one of those?"

"Don't know. Don't care. Just heard her and Joanna talking last night..." He loses interest and starts piling the counter with possible snacks.

"Mo!"

"What?"

"Hello? Continue!"

"Continue what? Oh San? She just had a lot of questions about how to know when—"

Santana suddenly walked into the kitchen, grabbed a coke, looked from me to Mo and paused, "How to know when what? What are you guys talking about?"

"You," Mo smiles smugly. "And your new boyfriend."

I scream on the inside.

Santana's face looks the way my screaming insides probably do.

"MO!"

"Hey Johana?" Montana mocks Santana in a girly voice "I've got a problematic crush."

I bite the inside of my lip to hide a smile and Santana glares at me. She smacks Montana on his stomach.

"Shut your mouth, asshole."

Montana just laughs. She glares at me again and walks out.

I wanted to go upstairs right after her…but Mo spent like an hour eating his 48 snacks, then we got to his room and spent another hour finding the right eyeliner for his costume. Finally, I get a second to wander out into the hallway into another room. She's doing homework, so honestly I thought it was Santana for a second and it was too late to turn around when Johana looked up.

"What's up Britt?" She says.

The only way that I know I've been talking for too long is when people use a certain tone of voice…that's the one she used. Except…we had only just started talking. It was weird.

"Oh no. Nothing. I thought…nevermind…what're you doing?"

She looks back down to her work.

"This whole fricken project by myself…" She grumbles.

"Oh…I'm sorry. You want help?"

"No. It's really my own fault." She looks up and laughs nervously. "I told my group that I'd do the whole thing…I'm kind of particular."

"I know this girl who's like that. Rachel. She's actually in your grade…she was almost my peer tutor, but at the last minute—"

"Brittany. I'm busy."

"—Well she kind of just freaked me out with her—"

"I can't really deal with you right now." She mumbles with her head down, then looks up with a smile.

"Oh. Ok."

When I walked out backwards…she was still kind of smiling…but like, crazily? You know. Like Rachel. But there was no heart behind it. Terrifying. Santana is nothing compared to that. I wonder if this was what she was talking about…this completely different Johana. I went back to Montana's room and asked him about it, but all he did was pause for a second and call Johana "Kind of a perfectionist."

The next day, I finally spoke to Artie about a better note…but disguised it as a homework assignment; saying I had to write a love letter as a one of the characters in a book we were reading.

"What book?"

"Uh…the one we're reading in English…"

"Yes, but which one Brittany."

I don't like when people talk to me like that.

"1984?"…I liked the part where he's in the field…I wasn't expecting that. I wanted my note to be like that. Romantic, but still super sexy.

"Um, Ok." Artie says, adjusting his glasses. "I wasn't notified of this assignment, but whateves. How do you want to start?"

"With her hair. I want to start with her hair. And make my way to her cute little toes. I don't even like feet, but—"

"Oh you're writing it form the man's perspective?"

"N—yes. Yes. Right."

"Ok…let's see."

Artie spent about 25 minutes flipping through the book. Back and forth…not knowing where to start…he'd begin something then get all nervous. This must be what Tina always talked about…he can't even pretend to be romantic.

"HA!" I laughed out loud at my cleverness.

He jumped.

"Jesus. Poetry must be exhilarating!" came a _very _cynical tone from behind me.

I turned to meet two startled coffee brown eyes. "Oh." She said.

"Hi," I said looking up from under my lashes.

Santana gulped and shifted her focus to Artie as she slammed a book on the table.

"Quinn says Johana's doing their groups entire project on her own…I don't want you pulling that shit with me."

"Wouldn't dream of it." He said looking at the book.

"Right, like Tin Men can dream…. anyway, my number's on the inside flap. Call me tonight and we'll get started on some big kid homework." She looked at me and cocked a brow.

"What are you nerds up to anyway?"

Artie sighed. "Tutoring. She's got to write a love letter."

"To a girl." I waggled my brows.

Santana's eyes sprang open so fast that her lashes crashed into her brows.

"No she doesn't…my brother's in all her classes and—" Santana muttered.

"She doesn't understand that she can't just list everything she wants to do, you know?" Artie's flipping aimlessly through the book again.

"And what is that she uh…wants to do?" Santana's trying not to look at me.

"What was it?" Artie said, rubbing the bridge of his nose "…sing to her, cook for her...dance with her in an abandoned boat house as the sun—"

"Sounds dumb." Santana leaves abruptly.

_Great._ Obviously I couldn't write the letter now. Stupid Artie ruined the entire surprise and even said it wrong…ugh. I'd have to fix it.

That's when I decided to steal the number from the book and call her after school.

"How did I know this was gonna happen? As soon as I walked away from that table I _knew_ my number would get into the wrong hands." She answers the phone in a huff.

"The wrong hands would be Artie's. You never know what those gloves are hiding."

She laughs and I have to catch an extra breath.

"You're not going to leave me alone about this are you?"

"I really do want to dance—"

"Stoooop. Stop. Fine. We'll go trick or treating ok? Just stop."

"Ok. Can I sing you home?"

"Sing me home?"

"Yes. It's like you walk home and I sing to you until you get there."

"Oh my—"

"I've got your number now…so I _could _just call all night long…and even if it's on silent you'll have like 888 missed calls and a full voicemail box."

"Just do it. I'm only a few blocks away anyway."

"K."

I clear my throat and start singing this song that always reminds me of her…but I never got past "Through all of the shadowy corners of me." She sighed and said she was home and somehow I knew she wasn't lying because I could hear the smile on her face. I think she'd gotten home a while ago.

**A/N2: **

**M206 – :)**

**Elizitro – Haha thanks so much!**

**Conri – Awesome, Glad to hear it! It's very fun to write.**

**Nayalove – Kurt was left out of my last story, so I figured he deserved that honor :)**

**Uh –I think I answered your comment/question. I 'm not gonna lie…I enjoyed the hostility. **

**PaperRomance –Haha absolutely if Brittany did it would be cute :) Johana'll be around…**

**Vero –Haha thanks for letting me know! Glad you're enjoying!**

**Guest – Badass indeed.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter takes place AFTER Halloween.**

Trouty Mouth does more than just impressions, you know.

(possible memoir title)

**Nov. 20****th**** 2011 **

Girls don't think boys talk about this stuff. But we totally do. I have a journal for Christ sake, you know? No you probably don't know. I'm guessing you have no idea what I'm talking about. All I'm saying is we boys are sensitive too. We have feelings. Sometimes girls assume we're the thoughtless ones…but WMHS has taught me otherwise…like girls sometimes just don't get it. Basically, Montana told me something pretty private today…and while it makes him miserable…it kind of makes me really happy…woah. I may have just disproved my whole "boys are sensitive" notion in that last sentence. Let me explain. The fact that he has a crush on this person means Quinn has no chance with him. Which means I actually _do_ have a chance with her. Evans for the win!

See, Britt's never looked twice at him—CRAP! Wasn't supposed to mention names. I'll have to code that later…anyway. He's so far in the friend zone that it's pretty much hopeless…and a little bit hilarious. Because he still tries so hard.

Quinn just started noticing…Britt never will. Honestly, I feel bad for Monty. He's my homie, you know? But when Quinn gets mad. She gets even. And when she gets even, she comes to me…so …

She showed me this video she took on her cell phone along with a transcript she jotted down…(adorably dorkish and maniacal) of Brittany and Santana saying some pretty…um intense…stuff to one another. She doesn't even question why their being so flirty though…that girl's got a one-track mind. She could easily just drag it out, you know? Tell Santana that she'll tell the whole school that she's messing with a junior…and a girl at that. (Though I backtracked a bit and tried to tell her that messing with a Junior wasn't such a bad idea) But no. She'd rather just show it to Figgins. I told her to slow down…think about it…I mean if Santana gets in trouble…well… Quinn doesn't want that being traced back her.

I thought it was good idea. And was even excited when I saw the light bulb go off in her head…then she told me what the light bulb was about. She'd go after Brittany, not Santana…that's when I felt bad. Brittany's probably the sweetest girl ever. She's the last person on any planet that deserves blackmailing. I'd totally be in to her if it weren't for Quinn…and the fact that Britt's way more confusing….anyway, I tried telling Quinn that—well not the "in to her" part…Quinn doesn't really know I'm into her, so just shut up about it, ok? But I did tell her that that wasn't what I meant, but it was too late.

I wish you could have seen her approach Britt. It was positively horrifying. So much so that I wasn't even turned on. Seriously. I even hid behind a corner because I didn't really want to be part of it.

"Spears." She said, barreling towards an unsuspecting Brittany; and even though all I could see was her profile, I could tell from Brittany's expression that she must have been doing that crazy smile she does sometimes.

Brittany gritted her teeth and turned to face her.

"Pierce. It's Pierce." She said, turning right back to her locker.

"I could've sworn it was—"

"Well it's not. And I'm pretty sure you know that I hate when people call me that."

"You're right. I do know." Quinn nodded smiling and waited for Brittany to turn back around.

" What do you want?"

" I want you to watch this."

As Brittany watches the video, she starts to laugh and even takes the phone from Quinn's hand to get a better look.

"Oh my goodness! This is awesome! Can I have a copy?" She said handing it back when it was over.

"No. Britt…No! Do you understand what's happening here?"

"You're giving me a very early birthday present?"

"Ugh, NO!"

Brittany shrugged.

"Ok, I"ll go through it real slow, k?"

"I mean, if you want…" Brittany said, losing interest.

"Oh my GOD!" Quinn grabs Brittany's hand and is suddenly dragging her through a maze of hallways. I struggle to keep up and don't realize that she was going to Figgin's office the whole time, until I'm standing right behind them at his door.

"What is this? Some kind of Hanson brothers tribute band?" Figgins says opening the door.

As they look around in confusion, both Quinn and Brittany jump at the sight of me behind them.

"Principal Figgins," Quinn remembers herself and tightens her grip on Brittany's wrist. "What happens to a suspended student who comes back to school during their punishment?"

"Well Ms. Fabray, Ms. Pierce's suspension is over, she is—"

"It's a hypothetical. What if there were proof that someone…like her…came back to school and broke the rules."

"Well, I suppose, she may have to receive a heavier punishment…unless of course she had some kind of splendid excuse. Honestly, knowing Ms. Pierce, I doubt that would ever be a problem.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes Ms. Fabray. When you're a good hearted and hard working student like Ms. Pierce, you get certain perks. You might want to learn fro—"

"You have _got _to be _kidding _me." Quinn roughly lets go of Brittany's hand as Figgins shrugs and goes back to his desk.

"Now, if Ms. Lopez were once again involved with this occurrence…"

"What was that?" Quinn nearly yells.

Figgins is just getting to his seat, "Well if Ms. Lopez and Ms. Pierce were once again…socializing…while still on punishment that would be an outright defiance of the agreement that was set. Ms. Lopez would probably loose graduation privileges, as her warning was an attempt to keep her record clean, and her many strikes have not really warranted such leniency... Ms. Pierce here…well, I'd have to discuss it with the board…but what does it matter? Here I am mulling over a hypothetical when I haven't even posted tomorrow's lunch menu on facebook!"

"Uh…shouldn't someone else—" Brittany started, but Quinn pulled her away and before I knew it we were back in the hallway where we started.

"I still don't know what he's doing here…or where he came from." Brittany said motioning to me.

"Doesn't matter. Did you hear what he said?" Quinn said crossing her arms.

"He didn't say anything…did you Sam?"

"Not Sam! Figgins Damnit!"

"…That Santana would be in big trouble if he saw that we had been talking while I was suspended." Brittany shrugged.

"And what did I show you before we got to Figgins' office?"

"This really cute video of Santana."

"And."

"Oh and me."

"And you were…"

"Well we were talking...she's got this voice that makes my heart fall asleep…. Oh gosh Quinn! I just thought of something! You have to be really careful with that video, I think it would get Santana in trouble!"

"You think?"

"I really do."

"Oh ok. I won't show it to a soul…."

"Good."

"…IF..."

"If?"

"If you promise to stay away from the entire Lopez clan. Santana…Johana….AND Montana."

"What!"

"Yep."

"Their names _rhyme?"_

"Brittany!"

"You just realized that too, right? Ha! That's crazy! How has no one—"

"Did you hear what I just said!? If I see you speaking with any of them, I show the video to Figgins, Lopez doesn't graduate, and it'll all be your fault. All you have to do is stay away."

Brittany starts shifting her eyes.

Quinn feeds on this. "She just got into her first choice university, you know. Early Acceptance. She won't say it, but she is so excited. Imagine if she didn't graduate?"

At this point, Brittany's pout isn't her usual one. It's this quivering thing accompanied by pink, glassy eyes. She's trying so hard to fight back tears.

"Mo's my best friend…" She manages to say. "And I just got Santana to—"

"…But what about Johana, Britt?" Quinn mocks, "The most beloved of all the Lopez's?…No, no you're right. She's not really my favorite either….Oh well. You'll just have to forget 'em all."

"You can't…you can't watch me all the time." Brittany's voice is cracking.

"I have Cheerios. They obey my every word or they lose their spots on the team. I'm sure they'd be delighted to take shifts …chaperoning."

I can't watch anymore. Britt's first tear is just starting to break through as her features are pulled to the center of her face. I know what she looks like when she cries, I saw it yesterday during pig dissection day…she still cries like a kid. Like my little sister. It's the worst.

"Enough." I pull Quinn away to spare Brittany from breaking down in front of her.

Quinn looks back as I yank her, and I can tell by the way she turns back to me that she knows she won.

Pretty sure I picked the worst girl in the entire universe to have a crush on.

**A/N: **

**PaperRomance – Haha! She is! Thank you :)**

**DaDa – I like that, "adorably annoying"…I'll take it ha.**

**CGB21 – They're Santana's brother and sister**

**Guest – Awesome! Thanks :)**

**ShibbiRose – Forces you to go back and read again? All part of the plan…hahah just kidding :) Glad you're enjoying!**

**Nayalove – Thank you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

**Oh and YEAHanon, I'm glad you don't want to strangle me anymore…JEEZE! haha**

Santana's secrets

**Nov. 24****th****, 2011**

The last time I went trick or treating was a very long time ago…I know I should probably take every opportunity to dress up like a ho because…well, what better way to celebrate it bein all about the teasin and not the pleasin, right? Except…I dunno… being a ho in front of kids kind of makes me awkward these days. I didn't used to care, but ugh…I'm disgusted with myself. Like, what is this? I can't even _pretend_ to be an asshole anymore. I think it's this girl again. I really do. She's got me caring about shit….feeling all nostalgic about Halloween…

I forgot how much fun it could be. My parents used to take the three of us trick or treating and we'd all dress up and be really obnoxious about getting more candy in our pumpkin head buckets—like WHINING to the neighbors; mom and dad included. Montana, Jo, and I would just end up laughing until we cried, and then mom and dad would just steal our candy.

I forgot what it felt like to go around anonymously and giggle about what you thought you probably look like. What it's like to have someone to do that with…Brittany was the one who picked out my outfit. Well I mean…I picked it out, but it was based on the way she looked at me when I tried it on. I thought she was going to devour me the minute I turned around.

"I can't believe this is the time you choose to try on costumes…fifteen minutes before—" The rest of her sentence must have gotten lost when her jaw dropped.

"Before what?" I smirked.

"Is that like…a kids size or...?"

"No. It goes all the way down my legs and arms, see?"

"…it's just so…" she gulped "tight."

I shrugged then pretended to smooth out the fabric in certain places… I think we all know what I was really doing…but _why? Why _did I find myself wanting to entice this girl?

"We should probably get out of your room…and...and out to the…you know. Let's just go." She got up, all cute and frazzled. I mean frazzled. Just frazzled.

I was actually really glad she was wearing a legit mascot costume. That way, if by some crazy misfortune someone recognized me, they wouldn't know who I was with. Besides, when she sat in my room, she wasn't wearing the head of the costume and hadn't zipped up the suit all the way, so on top there was just a flimsy white tank…and from the few glances I stole, I could pretty much assume there was no bra involved. So even with pink unicorn legs, this girl was giving me feelings. Jesus.

We slid out without any of my nosey-ass family members noticing, and started walking towards the crowded streets.

Immediately, little kids flocked towards the unicorn. They were so fucking cute. They giggled and pet her and she just picked them up…and asked them what they wanted for Christmas? It was a strange…holiday jumble, but it made me giggle nonetheless.

"Unicorn!" said one little girl, "Who's your scary friend?"

"Oh my friend's not scary! You've just got to get to know her." Brittany said in a half Santa, half neighing voice.

"She looks scary to me, Unicorn."

"Oh yeah?"

The little girl nodded.

"I bet she'll let you hold her hand."

I turned towards Brittany, but she ignored me.

"I don't think I want to," The little girl pouted.

"OH, you said the _naughty_ list! I'm sorry; hold on let me get out my notepad." She put the little girl down, "I thought you wanted me to tell Santa to put you on the _nice _list. Completely heard you wrong—"

"—Wait no, look." The little girl put her hand in mine—of course mine was covered in black latex, but it didn't mean I was immune to the familiarity of a tiny hand in mine. Of course I smiled under my mask.

Brittany smiled at the girl and nodded, "Nice, right?"

"Actually, yeah." She looked up at me and made a decision. She wrapped her other arm around my waist for a hug and whispered, "cold hands, warm heart."

I found myself kind of hugging her back. Until her parents grabbed her away and apologized profusely as they scurried off.

Before I could ignore the entire incident, Brittany swooped in front of me and I could just _tell_ even without seeing her face that she had the goofiest smile on.

"That was really nice of you, San."

"Fuck off."

She shook her big horse head, no.

I giggled…fucking giggled.

"Lucky she reminds me of me," I said, playfully pushing past her shoulder and continuing to stroll.

"How?"

"She was kind of a little a-hole."

"Riiiiight. If a-hole means the sweetest little thing then yes. You're right on the money…about both of you." Brittany said, catching up to me.

"Well, I don't really let anyone hold my hand."

"HA! What?!"

I shrugged, and suddenly she looked at me like I said I worshipped the devil—which most are already convinced I do.

"Oh my God…you're serious."

"Yeah? No big deal."

"No big—" She stopped in her tracks and started making a scene, waving her hands about. Again, I couldn't help but laugh at the pink unicorn that looked to be dancing amongst crowd.

"Come on!" I tried for intimidation. I even balled my fists, but how could she take me seriously when I was quaking with laughter? So she kept doing her crazy flailing just to make me laugh. Which of course made _her _laugh. At this point, neither of us could breathe and we were holding each other up as we basically collapsed in a fit of hysterics. Mind you, this was in the midst of hundreds of trick or treating kids, parents, teens.

She caught her breath, and as she watched me do the same she said,

"I'd do anything to make you laugh."

I couldn't look up. I really couldn't. The truth is, whenever I look straight on at her I get lost. Her attention is this beam of …whatever makes you melt with a smile on your face. That. Like I can't even speak, or listen when her eyes are on me. It's really really difficult to concentrate because I just want to stare. It's hard to believe that someone so beautiful…Oh my God shut up Santana. Shut up.

I haven't had a crush like this since like…6th grade…and I'm pretty sure it was on this same girl. It's not like it goes away…it just has its moments of intensity where it feels like a stereotypical crush. I go to bed analyzing every look we exchanged every stolen glance, every tiny conversation…and then I dream about her.

Fucking Hell.

So she finally stops dancing and TO MY HORROR, I can feel myself blushing; I can see her smirking as she notices.

"You are not my problematic crush," I blurt, then I clasp my hands over my mouth as she erupts in laughter.

"I'm serious. Montana doesn't know what the fuck he was talking about." I say.

"No of course not." She giggles, smugly.

"I don't like girls."

"Oh no. Me neither."

I laugh. "I'm serious Britt."

"Oh totally. Me too."

She grabs for my hand and I slip away just in time.

"I distinctly remember saying that _no one holds my hand_."

"Can I?"

"No you can not."

"Just for a second. You're really missing out you know." She says, matter-of-factly.

"Doubt it. I said no one else has…what makes you think you can?"

She turns to me and says, "Well maybe…your crush won't be as problematic this way."

I find myself smiling. I mean, what could I do? It was obvious.

"Fine." I say, and just before her hoof grazes my palm MonFUCKINGtana crashes between us like some kind of cyclone in pirate suit. And some one behind us screams "Damnit!" and I turn to find that it was Wheezy. Fuckin Wheezy! All up in the biz! I snarl and she disappears.

Mo doesn't waste a minute and starts chattin it up with Britt. Thanking me over his shoulder for 'keeping her busy' while he got ready. He started to say something about understanding why I took so long in the bathroom…eyeliner's no joke…but I wasn't listening. I was watching my unicorn disappear.

I wandered the neighborhood alone for a bit. Trying to avoid and run in to them at the same time…but ultimately just feeling confused and kind of annoyed.

I ended up lying awake in bed listening to Kings of Leon. Still in the suit. No mask. But feeling like this suit was the only thing holding me together for some reason…At around 3am, Montana started knocking, but I didn't answer. But he didn't stop.

"Fuck off." I whispered.

The knocks stopped. And I heard a very low response. "No."

I got up slowly and stood by the door. "What?"

"You heard me."

I melted in my suit.

This was not my brother.

I opened the door to a pitch black doorway and a blonde in half a mascot costume.

"You're going to wake up the rest of the house. What the hell?" I said closing the door behind her.

"We just got back….Montana said I could sleep over…but he's already half asleep,"

She said walking backwards to sit on the edge of my bed. She scanned my body and reminded me that I was still in the suit. 'Cold Desert' started playing as soon as she said, "But I'm wide awake."

"Take off the costume." I suggested.

She pulled down her bottoms and sat on my bed in boy shorts and a white tank. I stood in front of her and I either looked fucking nuts or fucking hot in a black spandex suit with my hair in loose curls….I'm gonna bet on fucking hot…I mean let's be real here. It's me.

I'm not really sure what made me so bold, though. I think it was the way she made me feel naked when she first noticed I was wearing the suit. And the way her eyes lit …it sent a jolt through a particular part of my body.

She started scooting back towards the headboard so she could lean up on it, all the while not taking her eyes off me. I nodded, letting her know that that was exactly what I wanted her to do.

Then I approached and straddled her. Her hands slowly trailed up my thighs then cupped my ass, pushing me up to her. I kissed the lip I had once made bleed.

"Remember that naughty list?" I whispered, tracing my fingers on her lips.

She nodded, dug her nails into the suit and started to rip it. I couldn't' even finish my sentence because all that came out was a long low moan.

The suit was flying everywhere in pieces, and all of a sudden I was in a thong and a bra…humping her leg from all the excitement. Jesus, she took so loooooong.

"Stop it." She hissed.

"No." I said into her neck and nipped a little bit. "Take off your tank."

"No." she grabbed my jaw, and pulled my face up so she could basically eat my lips…not the ones I was hoping she would…but whatever. I pushed her flat on her back, and let her just wait there. She was breathing hard and I couldsee right through that tank…she was _excited. _

"Brittany?" I said tilting my head with a pout. "Please?"

"Please what?" she caressed my cheek.

"Let me?"

"Let you what?" she slid her hand between my crotch and her stomach and started petting.

"Lick you," I moaned" _Fuck._ Bite you…taste you on my fingers like you tasted me?"

"It _was_ really good."

"It wouldn't be fair if you didn't let me." I whined.

"I guess not." She said slipping a finger in my underwear and feeling my wetness.

I pulled the tank down roughly and started teasing a nipple with my tongue. Now she groaned. She pushed the back of her head into the bed and arched her back, but it didn't stop her from entering me with two fingers.

"Fucking…Brittany…" I collapsed on top of her and rolled my hips involuntarily as the song faded back in saying '_Nobody but me'. _ I couldn't even moan when I came. It was the single most amazing…No one had ever…I can't even write this without shivering. Christ.

All I could do was kiss her. Kiss her forehead, temples, cheeks, nose, chin, and finally those lips…slowly, grinding my entire body into her as I did so. Staring at her as her eyes rolled back…just from kisses.

She then brought her fingers to her mouth, opening her eyes to meet mine as she sucked on them.

"Still yummy," She whispered.

I bit my lip, "I bet I know where you can find more."

She smiled like I told her she could open Christmas presents early.

I stopped her as she started to roll us over, "BUT…I want some of yours. You promised."

And I really did want it. I did. For the first time ever, I was interested in making someone.._else_…feel good…I'm still like, baffled by it.

My face was between her thighs when Montana actually knocked. I hadn't even taken off her panties. I thought I could take my time, you know? I wanted to see, and smell…and watch her…This was something brand new. There was no 'getting it over with' like...I wanted a week with this girl…then I wanted 51 more to do it all over again.

She giggled as I covered her up and opened the door.

Montana had woken up to find Brittany gone, so he wanted a ride to make sure she'd made it home ok. I told him she wandered into the wrong room on her way back from the bathroom AND HE ACTUALLY WANTED HER BACK. He picked her up…made a face when he found her pants less…and brought her back to his room. I tried to act like I was glad to have her off my hands by crossing my arms. Like I care, you know? Where she sleeps and stuff…

I hoped she smelled like her and me together. The littlest part of me hoped he realized we fucked. And that she was mine.

He didn't though.

I think he wanted her near. He wanted to hold her, or watch her sleep…just to be in her presence. Just to see if she mumbles in her dreams, to feel her skin on his, to see what she'll whisper in his ear in the morning…

Or maybe that's just me.

Since then, we'd been sneaking in conversations. She thought she could just skip up to me and kiss me on the cheek…IN A FULL ASS HALLWAY AT LUNCH TIME!...So I pushed her (keep in mind, I would have slapped any other bitch—). I later explained to her that there were rules…and that if we were going to_ spend time_…she'd have to comply. And that's really what we ended up doing. Spending time. Clearing the volleyballs after every game, whether it was home or away; I stayed with her. And we just talked. About stupid shit, about college, about family…things I guess I haven't spoken or laughed about in a while…But nothing outside of that. I couldn't risk any more public sightings after the Wheezy debacle. There were rumors after Halloween, but it died down because no one could prove anything and I wanted to keep it that way…

But four days ago something happened. I don't know what though. She won't even look at me now. I don't know what Mo did, but she won't talk to him either…We still clear the gym together, but it's in a matter of minutes and she basically does it all on her own. She locks the door like I'm not even there…I'm lucky I can dash by her in time.

Like what the fuck, you know?

Is this normal? Do people just stop?

I've never actually been...invested in a relationship outside of family…so I don't know if this is how they're supposed to go. If so, Love is fucked. That's what this is, isn't it? God damnit, I fell for it. I wrote her notes, emails, called…I even tried a public sighting; trying to walk home with her…but nothing.

Worst 4 days of my life. I've been able to hold back tears for so many years, and now I find them spilling out whenever I blink because of this girl. Before I know it, I'm in the bathroom like grabbing at tiles and out of breath from sobbing. 25 days with this girl and I'm not sure how I ever lived without her.

But I'll remember.

And you can bet she won't fucking forget me.

I can't fucking wait to graduate.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I used to hate it when my favorite authors wrote that "life" or "school" got in the way of them updating…but alas…they were right! Shit does in fact happen **

Puck's Privates

**November twentysomeshit 2011  
**

Santana looks like a warm bag of shit these days…except it's like…not even funny. Babygirl's like Puck's lady mirror, you know? I can't have her bringing down our shared hotness. We're the only ones on this level and I'd like to keep it that way.

I'm not gonna say we're friends…don't think she has any of those. But we get along, which is more than I can say for anyone else at this school.

…There was that hot blond though— Not Quinn— this Junior girl. I saw her talking to Lopez like 3 times one week…I even saw her put something like a smile on Santana's face. That's like…best friend status in our realm.

But now the blonde's gone and Lopez has never looked worse...obviously still better than 98% of the female population, but I felt like she still needed a good talking to, so I approached her in Chem Lab and did my best to be gentle.

"What the fuck Lopez!?" I whispered.

She didn't look up when she growled, "Are you hankering for another trip to the ICU? Because I can make it happen again without blinking an eye. I'm sure the hospital has plenty of empty beds."

"Like that would ever happen again, you caught me off guard .…"

"Fifteen times?"

"Whatever! Listen. I know we're not cool or anything, but we're sort of in the same-"

"No."

"We kinda—"

"No."

"Ok,"I sigh. "The way you look makes me feel bad…about myself."

"Is this you being nice?"

"Was that not clear?"

"No, Puckerman. Not in the least. Leave me the fuck alone. I'm going through some shit."

"Can't you go through it looking pretty?"

I had already shut my eyes tight in preparation for another Lopez concussion…but …nothing.

"Jesus Lopez. She must've done a number on you…"

Now she whips around.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

"Your blonde friend…she must've fucked you—"

"Not my friend and we didn't fuck."

"—up. She must've fucked you up bad…"

"Why do you assume she has anything to do with my behavior? I'm always a bitch."

"First of all, she's the only person besides your siblings and me that I've ever seen you say anything to. Second, this is not you being a bitch, this is you like…imploding."

"Shut up." She sighed.

"See what I mean? Half the shit I've already said would have warranted some kind of beat down by now. But instead you're all huffing and moping."

"Ugh. Stop trying to be insightful. It's not a good look."

"Fine. Let me tell you something,"

I waited until she turned to me.

"What?" she finally said.

"When some girl fucks me over, I fuck her right back, and not in the good way. I know what you're thinking: 'there's no bad way with you, Puck'—"

"Nope. Not at all what I was thinking."

"You sure?"

"Yes asshole."

"Anyway, I've seen the blonde watching you. Like she's sorry. She misses you…and I think we both know how that works…"

Santana looks at me blankly.

"Are you serious? Have you never done revenge before?"

"This is different Noah. And while I may be desperate enough to actually listen to your ridiculous schemes, I am not beyond completing the castration I started so many years ago. So finish up and get the hell out of my sight."

" All I'm saying is that when a girl looks at me the way that blonde looks at you, it means she wants something from me. That's when I know she's sorry she left. Do you know _why_ she's sorry?"

"Ugh I can't _imagine_ why."

"Well, if you came to the party in my pants every once in a while you'd understand."

"Gross."

"It's my dick San. They always miss my dick."

"I UNDERSTOOD Noah! "

"Just clarifying."

"Oh my—"

"There is no way I'd be able to be this much of a—"

"Douche—"

"…I was gonna go with ladies man…but ok…I wouldn't be able to do it without the tripod."

"EW!"

"Find your tripod. Whether it's your friendship…or whatever it is she wants from you…and flaunt it. I guarantee she'll come back with that sexy tail between her legs."

"Wow. Look at you using maxims correctly."

"I know a lot more than you think, Lopez."

"Doubt you know what maxim means."

"I know it's something I just said."

"I'll let it slide."

"Can't wait til you do Lopez, can't wait till you do."

She rolled her eyes and pretended to barf as she laughed.

I shrugged with a smirk knowing she would take my advice anyway.

And wouldn't you know it,

The next day the bitch was back.. And worse (better?) than ever.


	10. Chapter 10

Britt's Log

**2012.10**

A lot of things are difficult for me. Things like holding my pee, understanding why people are generally nasty to one another, remaining calm around ceiling fans—I mean they're all just gonna fall one day, right?!

But last year, I thought nothing would be more difficult than not speaking to Santana Lopez.

I thought absolutely wrong.

Wrongity wrong wrong wrong.

It gets harder when she comes to school wearing…_oh Jesus_.

It was the last day she ever spoke to me…before she resorted to shoves and glares of death.

She wore a red sports bra and spanks. AND THAT'S IT. Those things are supposed to be worn _under_ clothes right? Because they're so…and you can see…

She skipped right up to me and spun around slowly, raising her arms and accentuating her cleavage.

"You like?" she said as she faced me again.

I didn't say a word, but I couldn't stop staring. She had to know that I did…I did like.

"I'm trying out for the cheerios." She said with an evil smirk. Then she leaned in real close; pressed her front into mine. Kids were rushing to lunch so no one noticed.

"Well that's what I'm telling everyone. No one seems to care that it's damn near the middle of the year and it makes no sense…but I guess with an ass like this…why would they, right?"

She grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and slipped the tips of my fingers under the back waistband of her spanks. The small of her back was so smooth…

"Right?" she whispered tilting her head.

I quickly looked around and took my hand out just as a real cheerio rounded a corner, checking up on me before taking a bathroom break.

That was close, students were running and tripping over themselves to get to the cafeteria for taco Friday, so the cheerio couldn't see through the mess of bodies. Plus I think she had to go really bad… I guess holding pee's hard for everyone?

…I turned sideways and continued taking my books out of my locker.

Santana smiled daggers at any one else if they looked our way, but no one really dared. Her eyes darted back to me. She was so sexy when she hated me.

"You know why I'm _really_ dressed like this, don't you?"

I gulped and blinked, still facing my locker.

She nodded and bit her beautiful bottom lip as she looked up at me.

"Yeah. I think you do."

I shook my head and glanced around nervously; trying to turn back to my locker…but there were no more books to pack…plus it was lunchtime—where exactly was I going with a bag full of books?! I was just packing to stall.

It was obvious that this was a trick…her smile was not quite reaching her eyes….

"No? You don't?" She said running her eyes down my body, then staring openly at my boobs.

_Holy shit._

I shook my head quickly and started to walk away…she grabbed my ponytail just when I thought I was out of arms reach. It wasn't a pull, it was like a tug, enough to make me step back; but not enough to hurt. I ended up with my back to the lockers and hugging my books to my chest.

"Well," She smacked my books to the floor. "Let me explain."

I was pressing_ myself into_ the locker this time. Remember last time when she did it for me? That was nice… We were facing each other this time, but I was like, squeezed into myself, trying to hold myself together. Even closing my eyes because if I didn't, there's no way that cheerio wouldn't catch us….there would be no stopping me if I started…

"Open your eyes." She growled. I didn't even have to because I knew what she was doing. Her legs had to be shoulders width apart, while mine were right up next to each other. Her arms had to be folded while mine were right at my sides. She was the king of me right now.

"I said," She slammed her hands on the lockers next to my ears and let her lips ghost over mine. "Open."

My eyes shot open. I think she smirked. She was so close to me that I couldn't see her whole face, but I felt her lashes grazing mine.

"Don't you remember when you could smell how wet I was on the bleachers?"

I was taking deep breaths.

"…No?" She dragged a finger along the side of my face. "I do. You were so right, Britt. I'm always wet for you, did you know that? You excite me to no end…and I thought I did the same for you…. But now you won't even talk to me... It's cool though." She shrugged. "Maybe you're just a fucking liar. Maybe…you never really meant it

when you said that I knew what you wanted and you looked down at my…"

My breath hitched as she paused. Her wandering finger had made its way to my lips.

"Your what?" I whispered under it. I wanted to poke my tongue out…her skin tastes like caramel…and smells just as good.

She licked her lips and continued to examine my face, "You want me to say it?"

I nodded involuntarily.

"Just me saying it turns you on, huh?"

Suddenly she was unbuckling my belt.

She knew I would deny it. She knew I'd shake my head no, so she felt for herself…over my panties. And I didn't stop her…I even spread a little bit.

"Don't lie to me, Pierce." She moaned over my mouth. We were pressed against each other again. "Wow…" She hissed as she touched me, "You are dripping over the _thought _of me saying the word pussy…or is it just the sight of me? I knew you liked me, you fucking bitch." She moved my underwear aside and entered me. I jumped. "So how could you do this to me? I told you _everything._ Gave you all of me…How do you just stop?"

She was talking onto my lips, pumping slowly in and out of my other ones. I wrapped my arms around her back and clutched her sports bra because my knees were giving out.

"I—" I started, but I had to bite back a moan instead.

"You what? Now's not the time to talk. Not after all this…not after you played with me, made me…do you know how I felt about you Brittany?" She tilted her head and dragged her lips over mine. So soft, smooth…I tried to snatch them up for a kiss but she snapped her head back just out of reach. "No Baby," She whispered, and coupled it with a sweet smile…as her digits started hitting my spot. My yelping echoed down the hallways My fingers found there way to her front and were hooked around the thick straps of her bra. I was being held up by that, the leg she had placed between mine, and her other leg, which acted as a vise. My own legs were of no use. All they did was tremble.

"This feeling right here? The one I'm giving you? This weakness…vulnerability…bliss?" She snaked over to my ear and hissed, "The feeling like you're always just about to cum?" She came back to look me square in the eyes. She must've seen my tears, but I couldn't speak…I was _right_ _there_. "That's how I felt with you." She slowly pulled out of me…

My body jolted…needing just one more plunge of her fingers; shuddering as I fell to the ground...

"And this is what you did to me." She walked away, wiping her dripping fingers along the lockers.

I was still shivering, humping the air, craving friction when the cheerio came back. She knitted her brows looking at my unfastened belt buckle. I must've looked like I was in withdrawal from some very serious drug…Pretty much.

"Why aren't you in the cafeteria?" She barked with a look of disgust.

...

That was so long ago though…

There's no way she hates me anymore. She had to have read the yearbook by now and realize what I was doing… Why else would I hear this rumor about her coming back?


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks so much for sticking around you guys! The reviews make me so happy!**

**A – Thank you! I try.**

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**Guest – Why thank you, pleasant surprise is quite the compliment :)**

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**Guest – Really hot huh? ;) thanks haha **

129,993rd letter to Ms. Streisand.

**November 27th, 2012**

Dear Barbra (after all these years we should be on a first name basis, yes?),

As you know, I came home for fall break—much like the rest of the college freshmen of Lima, Ohio. Unlike the rest; I, of course, went straight to McKinley to offer my impeccable teacher's aid services to Mr. Schuester (which we both know he'd be lucky to have). We were just outside of his classroom when I heard them;

SCREAMS

flooding down the hallway. Envision some sort of tornado…think Dorothy's, but much worse, this was what I saw heading my way. I looked up to a barrage of kids from all grades running towards me; loose papers, backpacks, and folders flying everywhere as they looked behind them in terror. I figured I'd dreamt myself into a movie again…but you weren't there…so this had to be real. As they pushed past me, I turned to find Mr. Schue slamming his classroom door behind him with an apologetic smile. I scowled, but was nearly knocked down in the process by figures whizzing by. A pair of hands kept me up though, and just as the steady stream of students finally dwindled, I suddenly knew who everyone was running from and I looked up to find that I'd rather be trampled than to have this particular set of hands holding my elbows. They belonged to Brittany, the innocent little house in Kansas, recipient of Santana's hate hurricane coming our way. I, of course, found myself standing between the two.

"Ladies please just—" I tried to hold my arms out, but was swiftly interrupted.

"Berry. I swear to everything unholy that put that nose on your face!…I will fucking end you if you utter even ONE. SINGLE. WORD." Santana roared. Somehow there were still papers and books flying around her, I swear.

I nodded and tried to step away, but Brittany wouldn't let go of my elbows. She held me in front of her as a human shield.

"No," She whispered.

I snapped my head and widened my eyes, trying to tell her to LET GO. Surely, you know how expressive my large maple eyes can be, so I'm fairly positive the message got across…and yet there was no letting go.

Santana waved last year's yearbook around threateningly as she approached.

Here's the problem with Brittany attempting to use me as a shield…she's an entire head taller than me. And Santana can see clear over me as well…So things basically progressed as they would had I not been there…

"YOU FUCKING—" She threw the yearbook with her free hand, just missing Brittany and I, then charged at us.

"Now Santana ," I ventured attempting to keep her back by her shoulders, "You don't—" But that's as far as I got. When Santana Lopez attacks, people have usually hold her back,…I now understand why it takes so many of them to do so.

I wasn't exactly unconscious…but I did find myself knocked to the ground. I thought about playing dead; I truly did, but who was I to deprive these two of my two cents?! They'd thank me later.

"I just think Quinn might—" I started.

"Hold up. HOLD UP. Berry!" She stepped back to look at me, "Did I not tell you that I would end you if I heard your voice?"

I nodded "You did."

"I was nice the first time—"

"It's just that…I read the lovely and sorted …um piece of prose? And after speaking to Quinn I—."

"The only—the ONLY reason I'm not stepping on your face right now is that I have yet to take care of this one." She ignored me and reached to push Brittany, "Explain yourself Pierce. The FUCK is all this about, huh?" She picked up the yearbook and tore out – well I think we both know what page it was—and went for Brittany. They couldn't have been but one short step away from one another, so when Santana grabbed Brittany by the throat she had a whole bunch of momentum behind her. She basically ran Brittany's back into a locker . After the initial shock of the loud crash, she let go very quickly…almost startled by herself. Then she just stared at the blonde, who shifted her eyes uncomfortably.

The slap came out of nowhere…it was hard, but not enough to do anything except elicit a reaction smack from Brittany.. THAT threw Santana back a bit.

"Sorry I—" Brittany started. But Santana had just enough time to wind up and smack the words out of her sentence.

Brittany reacted again, after pulling her fingers to her nose and coming back with blood. She pushed Santana away roughly with a grunt; driving her into a locker and pressing her into it; holding her there until she was sure Santana would stay. This was when they exchanged some kind of tacit truce through a look of deafening intensity, and suddenly I felt I should be at the other end of the hall with everyone else .

Afterward, Brittany walked backwards slowly until her own back was against an opposing locker.

Now they stood facing each other panting.

"There weren't many rules, but you found a way to break them all…." Santana said lowly. "….And you know what's worse?" when she turned to me I saw the tears…even through those she seared my retinas with her glare, "She couldn't even tell me while I was here."

I mumbled something in response.

She stared at me angrily, so I figured she wanted me to repeat myself.

"I just think Brittany, was trying to tell you something…maybe that she didn't mean to—"

"I can. I can say it." Brittany said softly.

"She speaks." Santana said through gritted teeth, turning back to Brittany.

"I wasn't allowed…allowed to s—"

"The only thing you weren't allowed to do was write what you wrote! Say what you said! Put everything…God, _everything _out there. Like you even meant it…" Santana crossed her arms.

"I did, San…I _do_." Brittany said, dropping her gaze.

"Liar! You don't just stop talking to people!….you know? How could you end this amazing…and then write this fucking epic poem…after not saying a word for… How long has it been?"

"Three hundred and sixty seven days. Almost to the minute." Brittany said stepping back and looking past Santana at a clock on the wall.

"Counting minutes? Really?"

"I—" Brittany's eyes darted to me…she paused, but obviously decided to go on, looking back to Santana, "I—… other addicts count steps and days and stuff…so I did it too…but only with days though...because 12 steps only got me half way to the kitchen."

"What?"

"I found out that's what it was. I asked everybody what it's called when you can't eat, make a sandwich, breathe, dial a number, sleep, think, study, walk straight, dream, talk, get dressed, blink …or ANYTHING…DO ANYTHING without thinking about a certain obsession…" She shrugged and caught her breath. "They said it was called an addiction and so … I must be an addict…right?"

Now it was Santana's eyes darting my way. But Brittany came forward and gently turned Santana's head back so they could lock eyes. "So to kick it…like…stop being with you…cold turkey? That was like, well I thought you understood…it had to be for some really serious livin' la vida loca reason."

Santana searched Brittany's face attempting to find a reason.

"I—what?"

"Rachel was trying to tell you. It was Quinn."

"It's true. She told me herself," I said, finding that I could finally sit up without the lockers spinning. They both glared at me, then turned back to each other.

"QUINN SAID WHAT?!"

"San. I said it all in the poem…didn't you read it?"

"Towards the end, I wasn't sure who you were talking about...there were so many different unicorns…"

"Did you know which ones we were?"

"I think everyone knew which one's we were." The edge of one of Santana's lips turned up in a—oh, that's what that looks like on her face…a half smile. Hmmm. She should try that more often.

Brittany full on beamed for a second, then remembered, "Anyway, she taped us talking…on the bleachers? And said she'd show it to Figgins if I ever even spoke to you or Monty. I mean…I couldn't let you get your last strike! You were so excited for college…"

Santana crossed her arms and began pacing furiously, "Of course! She must have been after _Monty _ the whole time… just needed us out of the way…Had nothing to do with um..us… I am going to fucking RUIN THE BITCH!"

As the crazed Tornado began to build again, Brittany reached out for Santana's wrists and held them tenderly, unfolding the girl's arms (because as soon as Brittany touched her, that's what she turned into…just this little, tiny….girl), "San, no. Come home."

"What?" Santana was suddenly rendered baffled, like a child given ice cream after burning down the house. "Home?"

Brittany unfurled a full grin and laced her fingers with Santana's.

After glancing at their hands for a bit she looked up.

"What are you…?" Santana shook her head anxiously, looking at me .

"It's just…been so long. You've been so mad and…we wasted so much time on this stupid misunderstanding…can't we just forget her and—"

"Sorry," Santana ripped herself out of Brittany's grasp. "I…" She looked at me nervously then back at Brittany. "I can't…um…let it go. We'll talk later…I gotta…C'mon Berry. Help me find your Lady Love."

I scurried after her explaining that Quinn and I simply went to the same college coincidently, and not—as I was finding everyone had suspected—in an effort to conceal some sort of scandalous love affair. I mean, it's college after all…there would be nothing to hide.

Hypothetically speaking of course.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I know the chapters usually go: Classmate chapter, S chapter, Classmate chapter, B, chapter, etc…but I had to break tradition this time …:) enjoy**

**PaperRomance – Hahahaha I feel the same way!**

**Bigblusky – glad you're hooked! And your unicorn will come haha**

**Nayalove – thank you!**

**Naya2 – Brilliant? Wow. Thank you so much! It was all pretty intentional. I always think of Rachel as Judy Garland haha.. and yes, they will talk **

**ShibbiRose – Laughing from beginning to end? Yessssssssss...So glad you caught all the jokes! Rachel has actually been the most fun to write…Don't worry, I'm a dork too :)**

A few days later…

To Everyone

From Finn, in case she totally kills me:

I was thinking of maybe making this my last will and testament…. But like, I can't really do the testament part because I'm pretty sure that has to do with the bible…and I don't have one of those and when I really think about the 'will' part… kinda don't want to leave any of my stuff to anyone…. I'd rather have it buried with me, thanks.

How 'bout I just tell my side of the story?…because when Santana finds out that I warned Quinn…that she got a head start because of my text? Well…I'm next, I know it. And I have a feeling Santana won't be as 'easy' on me. She'll probably finish me off…I mean, she's already threatened to start with the "little balls I have left" –like she did with Puck— and then just cut off everything else. Everything. I'll be like this torso. Just a chest. No arms, no legs, no head. No nips. So sorry if I'm a little on the jerk-y side, but I'm pretty sure she'll find me under these stairs any minute now.

K I'm trying to calm down. I took a few deep breaths and decided that when channel 5 comes to my house to ask my Mom and Mr. Kurt's Dad what happened; I guess I better have something for them to say. Let's face it, I'll be lucky if I'm around to say it.

You know, if it hadn't been for Rachel Berry I could have kept myself out of this…but when I saw her trying to keep up with Santana as they ran out of school together; I got a knot in my stomach. I was on my way to say hi to Mr. Schue and even though I assumed all of us first semester freshmen had the same idea, I know for a fact that Santana and Rachel would never show up together…or leave together because I honestly don't think they've ever been in the same space at the same time. So I jogged up to them.

"Listen Honey Boo Boo Child, I don't have time for your slow ass chubby running." Santana immediately snapped as I tried to keep up with her.

"Finn!" Rachel chirped.

"Hey Rach! Um, can you slow down?"

"Sorry Finn, Santana here's got strides about a mile long and if I don't keep up she'll probably end me as well."

"—Damn right I will." Santana chimed in and as she glanced back at us, Rachel nodded happily in her direction, then motioned for me to come closer as she got serious.

"She's going to kill Quinn, Finn. I'd stay out of this if I were you…"

"What? Rachel!? What are you talking about?"

"I fear I've joined some sort of gang with Santana. She's come back with a vengeance…and is looking to find Quinn."

"And you're helping?!"

"Well yes."

"What is-wait…Is this about the yearbook?"

"Yes."

"…But I thought Brittany wrote it."

"Yes, they've already, as they say, 'Thrown Down'. And it's been revealed that what Santana thought was some sort of cruel joke was actually Brittany's declaration of true love."

"Wait… that wasn't a friendly secret admirer thing?"

"Really, Finn? You read that whole thing and got "friendly' out of it?" Santana quipped.

"Um..yeah?"

"I bet you still kind of think you're Quinn's baby daddy don't you?" She laughed.

"No!" I pouted.

"Anyway Finn, Quinn somehow kept them apart, so the note was more of a 'let's make our secret lesbian love affair not so secret' message to it— " Rachel interrupted.

"BERRY! MOUTH!" Santana shouted.

"Sorry! Around 2 minutes ago, when we first started walking away from Brittany I wanted to escape. But I feel I've caught a case of the Stockholm syndrome."

"Are you really this desperate to have Santana like you?"

"Apparently yes. I'm enjoying our time together…being on her side makes a world of difference."

"You're not on my side, Itty Bitty." Santana snapped.

"You need me though." Rachel sang back.

Santana scoffed and rolled her eyes as we neared her car.

I started to open the back door when Santana shook her head with her palm out.

"Hey, Titanic, what exactly do you think you're doing? I'll have enough trouble explaining why I'm with Polly Pocket here…I don't need the _actual_ elephant in the room."

"Um Santana we should hurry, she'll be leaving work soon." Rachel said from inside the car, fastening her seatbelt and using her phone as a GPS.

"…I could…be the look out?" I offered.

"Yes because you're so inconspicuous" Santana said (I'm assuming sarcastically? I have no idea what that last word means…) getting in the driver's side. "Just hurry up!" She finally blurted.

As we pulled off, I texted Quinn that Santana was coming for her. I'm not sure if she took me seriously, but she wasn't at her job when we got there anyway.

"What do you mean left her shift early?!" Santana hopped over the McDonald's counter going for the Manager's neck.

"Santana, please!" Said the manager.

"Lois?" Santana had backed her into a pillar behind the fries. "Do you remember me from 6th grade?"

"Y-Ye-Of course Santana. You used to come in here all the time and tell me that standing over these greasy ass burgers was making me look more like I should work at Pizza Hut."

"That was Johana, asshole. What _I _said was that you should be careful or you'd be stuck here after graduation. Remember?"

Lois nodded quickly, agreeing "Yeah, sorry…you guys were so different in junior high…hard to keep straight…"

"And I was right, wasn't I?"

Lois nodded again.

"So now you see that what I say tends to come to fruition."

"Excellent usage 'Tana! One of my favorite SAT words!" Rachel gave a thumbs-up from the other side of the counter. I gave her a side-eye and wondered (as I still do) why I love her so much.

Santana gave her a scowl and a pretty lengthy squint that said "unbelievable".

Lois was still nodding.

"Where was I? Oh yeah. I have powers of premonition…as you've already witnessed. And just like I predicted you'd be here after highschool, I'm predicting a hospital visit if I find out you're lying to me and that Quinn's hiding somewhere back there."

"No, I promise Santana. She ran out of here a few minutes ago." Lois insisted.

Santana backed up, and kind of dusted Lois off saying, "Ok…carry on then. As you were."

We piled back in the car and Santana drove like maniac to the nearest car wash.

"Hey! HEY!" Rachel began to panic.

Santana locked the doors and we inched closer to the large spinning scrubbers.

"Nervous Berry?" Santana took her hands off the wheel and continued to tap the gas, now facing Rachel.

I cleared my throat. "Uh. Rachel doesn't like staying in the car during—"

"I know Finnanimate. I remember. Someone chased you in here when we were little didn't they?" She spoke to Rachel now.

Now it was Rachel's turn to nod.

"Mhm. They made you run through all these machines and you almost had to go through the high pressure rinse and hot wax didn't you?"

Rachel nodded then I thought I heard her whisper, "But you rescued me." As she beamed at Santana, who glanced back at me nervously.

"What?" I said.

"Not the point!" Santana interrupted. "We were six, and I had no idea you'd grow up to be the bane of my existence! ….Now I don't want to do this, but you're working m'last nerve."

"But how? I've been so helpful."

"Berry, tell me the truth." Santana pressed the gas.

"What are you taking about Santana?! Please just back out."

"Are you playing both teams?" with every word, Santana tapped the gas.

Rachel shifted her eyes...quickly looked at me through the rearview mirror and mumbled, "I'm not sure why this is pertinent, but yes...I think so."

"YES?!" Santana pressed the gas and continued screaming "I CAN"T BELIEVE YOU'RE TIPPING QUINN OFF!"

"Wait wait! SLOW DOWN?! Is that what it's called?! STOP SANTANA STOP!"

The car screeched to a halt one second before we entered the tunnel.

"Why are you telling Quinn my plan?" Santana hissed.

"What?! No!" Rachel panicked, "That's not what I-I've only used my phone to calculate the addresses! I'm helping only you! You know that as her roommate, I'm the only capable navigator in this car. I'm privy to her schedule and—STOP! Santana you're making me crazy GET OUT OF HERE!" Rachel began to turn the wheel.

"So you're not telling her anything?" Santana said slowly.

"No you can check my texts and my calls."

Santana nodded and reversed at about a thousand miles per hour without checking her mirrors. But at a red light just before the highway, she turned to Rachel slowly.

It was like she'd just realized something and it made her laugh...loud. "What'd you think I was talking ab-"

"Why don't we go to her Mom's house?" Rachel suggested quickly.

Santana smiled widely, weaving through traffic.

That's when I texted Quinn: **GET TO YOUR DADS!**

Since my job was done, I celebrated with a nap.

When I woke up, the car was empty and parked in front of a familiar front door. The windows were closed and I was dripping in sweat. I was like…kinda loopy so when I found the doorknob broken off of the front door, I was just glad I didn't have to ring a doorbell, I needed to explain to Santana that IF SHE LEAVES ME IN THE CAR SHE SHOULD CRACK A W—oh crap…she was trying to kill me. As the thought dawned on me, I had just made my way through the kitchen.

"There you are, San—Oh shit!" I caught a glimpse of Santana, but I didn't realize she was attempting to drown Quinn in the kitchen sink. Rachel was nowhere to be found.

"Santana! You could've killed—! And now you're killing—! OH GOD where's Rachel?!"

Santana looked up with a smirk and finally lifted Quinn's head out of the sink by her hair.

Quinn gasped reaaaaaaal deep and yelled,

"WHO CARES ABOUT HER?! THIS BITCH IS CRAZY! GET 'ER OFF—" But before she was finished Santana dunked her. I was moving pretty slow, so it took me a bit to get Santana to one corner and Quinn gladly stayed in another. I almost tripped over Rachel's unconscious body in the process.

"Santana!" I said gesturing to Rachel.

"She was talking to much!" Santana said, still trying to get past me to Quinn.

That's when I took a moment to look around…

We were at Quinn's _dad's_ house.

"Hold on…I thought we were going to her mom's…" I said

Santana slowed down and smiled. "I'm not an idiot, Finn. I knew one of you was tipping her off so I drove here instead and called her mom just in case. No one picked up…so..."

"Oh my God Quinn." I said looking over my shoulder to see how she was doing. Santana had destroyed her. DE. STROYED. Here clothes, her face her hair was in patches..her arms and legs were scratched up and bruised..some parts bleeding.

"Jesus Santana." I went to Quinn and sat her on the counter.

Santana shrugged. "Fuck it. I'm done. You don't need me to ruin you Quinn. After spending all day looking for your ass…I realized you did it yourself. You're already ruined."

"Fuck you San." Quinn managed to mumble as I dabbed her with a wet paper towel…I don't really know how to nurse someone…

"No, Fuck you. I can meddle with the object of your affections too. I don't even need to threaten him…"Santana began dialing her phone on speaker…it rang.

"Say a word and I'll cut you both." Santana whispered. A male picked up.

" 'lo?"

"Mont. I'm with a few friends and I'm trying to tell them what you said about Quinn the other day…what'd you call her?"

"Oh," he started chuckling. "psycho barbie? HA! I gotta admit…that was funny. That whole night was!"

"Yeah you and your friends spent hours bashing that poor girl" Santana said staring at Quinn.

"Well…she wasn't the nicest person in the world…she gave em all STDs"

"Not on purpose" Quinn muttered with tears in her eyes.

Santana shot her a death glare and said sweetly to the phone "Dodged that bullet didntya?"

"Totally man. Can't tell you how many times she threw it at me…ugh. Just threw up in my mouth thinking about it. Listen San, I gotta go. This subject matter is making me ill." He said playfully.

"Alright punk. See you later."

"Bye San."

Santana hung up her phone and walked right up to Quinn…I came in close too, just in case. But Santana just looked her up and down, then brought her face to Quinn's—who flinched. Santana whispered,

"Now that you're dying inside… Tell me, was it worth it to make me feel that way? For a guy who could give two shits about you?"

"You don't love her like I love him."

"He doesn't even _think_ about you…do you understand? I had a love that knew no bounds..for _and_ from her."

"I'll tell him about you two." Quinn's tears were pouring out now, but her voice didn't falter.

"Go ahead." Santana grabbed her keys and headed out, without turning around she growled, "I'll _show_ him."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Wow…91 of you following? Thanks babes! I want to hear from _all of you_. I loved reading about how some of you were disturbed by Santana (she's actually supposed to be that bad). Keep telling me what you don't like, why you don't understand…asking me why I do certain things…and of course, tell me what you do like too! I love the feedback :)**

**ShibbiRose – I love that you have favorite quotes!**

**Rragemore –Honestly, I'm usually not into that either ha! But it seemed appropriate somehow :) **

**Guest— I get how physical violence can seem like a bit much, and no it doesn't float my boat; but honestly, if she's going to be such an angry character, I kinda have to make her follow through with her threats, you know? I mean she's pretty violent on the show... And here, her character doesn't **_**actually**_** kill anyone…but in this story she's rougher…and not phony tough, like actually scary. So yeah…it was supposed to be rather uncomfortable…As far as Points of view…well, I wanted to do something different with that. I thought it'd be fun to see their relationship form other peoples' perspectives while giving them their say. It's fun for me anyway; I was hoping it was fun for you guys as well…but hey…can't win em all huh? **

**M206 –RIGHT?! :)**

**PaperRomance – If you're a knob I'm a knob :) ha But, no, I didn't make it obvious that that was the sequence, but thanks for loving Rachel! I miss **_**that**_** Rachel on the show…she was indeed gold. If you want to call me gold too, well I'll take it ;)**

**Guest –Yay indeed!**

**Guest –Yeah, it can be a bit rough. She didn't quite strangle Brittany, it wasn't a squeeze as much as a push against the lockers, you know? But yeah…she's rough on everyone. I really just wanted her to be an actual bully. Like actually scary and I want you to wince because I wince writing her. I want her redemption to be warranted, I want her to be feared for a reason. You don't have to pretend it's funny though…it really isn't. It's just a character trait/fault. But it doesn't define her, I promise. **

**NayaLove – HA! Love that you love Psycho Santana**.

Santana's Secrets

Sometimes…now hear me out…Ithinkbeingmadissuchawasteof time.

I know I know, this coming from me of all people…. but that's the way I've always been. It's not like I ever get angry…I just do things to stay cold and avoid getting invested… Honestly, I don't even bring up half the shit that _really_ gets me mad because it's like, you confront the person and then what, you know? Things stay awkward and then I still pretty much lose because nothing changes?…fuck that. I'd rather have nobody in the first place…can't lose what you never had, right?

…until, of course, she reminds me what it's like to have it all… I didn't realize until _after _the Quinncident.

I remember looking at the ground as I speed walked out and nearly slamming into my brother as he stood in front of his car in Quinn's driveway. I breathed a sigh of relief. He just looked at me with this pair of sad eyes and rushed me with a hug that I didn't even know I was desperate for.

It was what he had in the car that made me frown.

"I'm sorry." He said with his back to the car as we stood outside. He'd been watching my eyes search the backseat.

"Based on the many frantic phone calls I've received, I'm sure you just wanna be alone…you've had quite the productive day…but she insisted on coming—"

"Ugh."

"—and when I say insisted I mean cried…what the hell is up with you two lately? I mean…"

"Honestly Mont…." I sighed and shook my head. I really was exhausted.

He put his hands on my shoulders.

"Look San, we just talked Figgins out of pressing charges."

"What?! What for?!"

"Destruction of school property, emotional distress to the hundreds of students and teachers who feared for their lives in your presence…"

"…didn't they always?"

"Seriously Santana? Is this a joke to you? You're not a minor anymore! You don't go to school there anymore! No one has any reason to protect you…and I don't even want to know what you did in there," He gestured to Quinn's house.

I had to drop my head to catch the lump in my throat.

He sighed, "Johana's coming later to pick up your car. You're riding with us…get in the backseat."

"Why?"

"You look like hell and I don't want anyone thinking I did that to you."

I guess I'd forgotten that Quinn and Rachel…oh and Brittany too…had gotten some swings, scratches, and shoves in. I suppose they must've piled on through out the day.

She was watching me even as Mont spoke to me. I know because I was looking past him at her piercing glare. Sea-foam eyes followed me as I me rounded the car and didn't blink as I got in the back. Her brow furrowed as she got a closer look; assessing my wounds. She was so serious. _So so serious..._it scared me. I hadn't been scared of anyone all day; not even her the first time I encountered her. But this had me terrified.

The more she stared, the closer she got, the slower her eyes drifted up and down my face.

"What's wrong with you Santana?" She whispered when we were just about nose-to-nose.

"…let's people walk all over her." Mont mumbled, he hadn't noticed the intimacy of the question as his eyes were on the road.

Brittany's head snapped towards him." What?"

Caught up in the loss of her closeness, I almost forgot to tell Mont to shut up.

It didn't matter though. He told her anyway…from start to finish…how Johana convinced me to take the wrap for her in 4th grade when she freaked out and decked that teacher over a B grade. "One time deal" she'd said….But soon I just started getting blamed for everything when I was nowhere near trouble. And it was so easy for people to forget the quiet little girl I used to be…for obvious reasons…I really was very quiet.

Anyway, I got pissed at getting detention for things I didn't do, so I started doing things to warrant punishment. But I wasn't good at it…like, at all. I did stupid shit like put trash in the recycling. That's when I discovered fighting. That always struck gold. And I know what you're thinking, yes, of course I'm too smart for that. Of course I realize that it's a lose-lose situation…but…Johana would never have recovered from that B, much less the consequences of hitting a teacher…so what the fuck ever. I'll be the monster.

Brittany was looking at me again; concerned. She inched closer, and with neither of our seatbelts on, she was free to kneel on the seat and face me. She almost smiled and I had to hold my breath. She had been so hard to read this whole time. I still didn't know what she wanted so I just faced her anxiously. Finally, she crept up. And I closed my eyes because I'd been wanting her since I frowned at her from outside the car. I was mad at her for being so fucking beautiful…not for showing up.

But she didn't kiss me. Her cheek grazed mine and she blew lightly on what must've been a nick behind my ear. Oh, but it still made my body pulse. Her warm breathe. The overwhelming scent of her shampoo in my face…the hairs of her skin on mine. I inhaled deeply… She was flowers and fruit, but nothing like perfume. Just natural and intoxicating. My hands were drifting into hers and I wanted it to be like the first time we held hands—We'd been watching something that was supposed to be scary, but was actually hilarious…and she caught me by surprise. She giggled as she grabbed for my hand in mock fear. She'd only gotten two of my fingers, so I adjusted and clasped her whole hand…making sure to squeeze once gently because I wanted her to stay there—

The car screeched to a halt.

As she pulled back slowly, she looked past me and whispered, "Sorry."

I immediately furrowed my brow even before opening my eyes. When I did so, I found tears in hers and looked to Monty, but couldn't read his expression.

And then there were these cold hands behind me, hooking the crook of my elbow. They were pulling me backward out of the car.

"Sorry?!" I yelled as I stumbled out.

"It was the only way they wouldn't press charges!" She yelled, as I was turned away and dragged towards the building.

_Wait. What?!_

I couldn't even process the fact that I was betrayed by my own brother. Or that I was staring at this not so tall, very gray building; escorted in like some kind of…They read me my rights as they dragged me through the hallways.

It was the scariest thing since Brittany.

I reverted back to being quiet…

I wasn't fingerprinted. I didn't change clothes…and there wasn't like, anyone else there…. When my eyes finally adjusted and stopped scrambling, I read that it was a detention center. I was really just being held there until my hearing the next morning. It looked…and almost felt like a dorm. Mostly because I fell asleep with a lot of thoughts in my head… Not one of them furious though…surprisingly. Really just wondering how it hadn't come to this sooner…I guess someone finally noticed. And I think I loved her for it.

She showed up so early that I thought it was a dream.

_No, being mad at her certainly wasn't worth it at all_

The sun was a brilliant backlight and rendered her a silhouette. I blinked myself awake, but still wasn't so sure it was real.

"They let you in?" I said hoarsely.

She nodded, "I said you missed your insulin shot, so they let me wait in your room."

I laughed.

She shrugged with a nervous smile, "Read it in a book once."

She came and sat next to me. Only now could I see the stray tendrils of golden hair in her eyes. I took my time brushing them away.

"Santana," She held my wrist, the one by her face. "I did this. I tricked you... But it was only because Figgins really was going to press charges unless you turned yourself in…and I knew you never would…"

I smiled, still playing with her hair. So she continued, "I know I know, 'what the fuck do I know about what you're thinking', right?"

I took her hand off my wrist and put it in both of mine, resting it in my lap. , "I guess you really can't tell huh?"

Her brow flickered in confusion.

"Tell what? You're not mad?

I shook my head and looked at her hand as I started to tickle the palm,

"Can't tell that… I'm grateful."

"What?" She said it slowly and started to smile. "For this?"

"Actually yes…well, grateful and sorry," I finally brought my eyes to hers.

"But no one puts Santana Lopez in jail." She laughed.

I nodded. "I know…I feel like I should thank you."

"Thank me?"

I sighed, "Do you know why I was so mad about the yearbook thing?"

"Honestly, no."

"Because I was sad. I like, forgot how to be sad so I went straight to mad."

"Sad?" She squeezed the hand that remained in my lap. "Why?"

"Brittany! I love you!" I yelped.

"Was I supposed to know?"

"Sorry. No. I guess not."

"So why are you yelling?"

We ripped into a laugh. But as we came down, I got serious again,

"Because it's hard to say. Especially when I've never even said it to my family. You're the only one."

"You're all I'll ever love Santana. You know that." She pet my hand.

"…I thought I knew. I was so sure…but to be so sure and have it taken all away…_God _it …it pretty much killed any little bit of me that was left…so when I read the yearbook, I didn't really care about everyone knowing…I cared that you could just fall in and out of…whatever we had… so easily, like my feelings didn't even matter."

"I never fell out Santana…you know that right? I am always in. "

"I know…Anyway, I'm thanking you for putting me in my place…not that jail is my place, but—"

"This isn't jail." She said sternly.

"You know what I mean… I've just… got to stop pretending."

I had been looking from her eyes to our hands the whole time, but now I could feel her need for eye contact.

"…You forgive me?" She asked when we finally locked eyes.

"You forgive _me?_" I responded.

She smirked.

"Yeah?" I goaded.

She shook her head as she came in for a kiss.

"No?" I said as our lips met.

"Yes." She whispered back between kisses. "You?"

I nipped her lip, "What do you think?"

"Mmm I think…" She pulled away the tiniest bit and ran a thumb down my lips, biting her own bottom lip as she did so "…You have… the sexiest morning voice I've ever heard."

Slowly, she stood up in front of me and brought her dress over her head.

"Have mercy," I exhaled. "Christ Britt. Do you ever wear underwear?"

"I always end up having to change them after I see you…so…"

"_And_ your bra?"

"Most of the time I'm just hoping you'll follow my lead with that…you should forget yours too."

I lay on my back and began to unbutton my shirt, "You don't like my bra?" I said as the red demi-cup became exposed.

She just stared.

I kicked off my pants, still lying on my back. "Or is it my panties? You don't like these?"

"Is that a uh—"

"—Why yes, It is a thong." I turned on to my side and faced her.

"Well, I—I don't like either of them very much right now." She pouted.

"I dare you to do something about it."

"Let's see." She moseyed over as if she weren't completely nude and sat by my legs. She lazily dragged a hand up my leg and hooked a finger underneath the strap of my thong…tugging and dragging…"Maybe if you turn on your back…maybe then I'll like them."

I quickly turned.

Her hooked fingers slowly got to the front of the underwear, petting my mound with her knuckles.

"I like this part a lot."

My heart was the most powerful jackhammer in the world. I started caressing myself under my bra.

"Please Brittany," I whined.

"Oh now you want them off?" She crawled on top of me.

I nodded and shut my eyes, grasping the edges of the small bed to keep myself from exploding. If I looked at her this close, I'd surely lose control.

Feather light kisses peppered my face as her fingers continued to play along the seam of my panties.

"I could already be eating you, you know. If you hadn't—"

"Pleasepleaseplease" I was getting desperate…writhing as I started to tickle her back, attempting to draw her closer.

She didn't bend immediately though…just chuckled. Finally, she leaned in and licked a nipple, gently tearing my thong in the process. That's when she ground into me.

"_Oh fuck,"_ I whimpered, opening my eyes.

Just like a dancer….slow and purposeful. Grinding, for her, was an art form, a body roll….and she made it last. Suddenly, her shaking body shifted and she straddled my face, diving in between my thighs in turn. I pulled her on to me and finally finished what I'd started so long ago. All I remember thinking was _oh my God, so sweet._ I got lost in it until she mumbled something into me and we jolted simultaneously in ecstasy. She turned around curled into me, kissing sloppily as we rode it out.

"So I can count that as a yes then. Yes you forgive me?" I croaked.

"Didn't you hear me moaning every yes in the world into your ear? Screaming them into your-"

"Right," I smirked.

"You have to shower." She panted after a while.

"How long do I have?"

"I don't know, but you're going to want to leave early before they notice the sheets…"

We both stood up, stark naked, staring at the bed.

"I can just say I have a bladder control issue." I shrugged.

She laughed, "On opposite ends of the bed?"

"I didn't know we could…do that..."

She hugged me from behind and kissed my neck, "Bet I could make you do it again."

"Bet you c—"

The door swung open and stopped me from completing a very dangerous wager.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**

**Nayalove – Yay!**

**Brittana-is-wanky21 – Sufficiently awkward indeed haha**

**Rragemore – Hahahahaha. It does look good on her doesn't it? **

**ShibbiRose – I hope your happy dance is in full swing right about now :)**

**M206 – Now I don't know where to put m' responses! I don't like they way they look at the end..and while this is really 7****th**** grade of me…I was putting 'em at the beginning because that's what I saw everyone else doing, ha**

Santana Lopez,

When we were naked…and your back was on my front…you were letting me hug you like that while we smiled standing over the bed, looking at the mess we'd made…I've never felt so good. Never felt more like this was exactly where I was supposed to be. I guess it shouldn't have felt so super romantic…but it did. I like holding you. I like my chest melting into your silky shoulder blades like ice cream. It's better than kisses. Well mouth kisses…the other kisses we do… nothing's better than that. What I mean is; no one makes me feel better than you…especially when you let me make you laugh…

And that's why only you had the power to make me feel the worst. For Christ's sake we _just_ apologized…everything we'd just been through…and you still just… I can't believe you. Your dad was right.

When the guard interrupted our hug, we turned around, but only the top halves of our bodies because we like, weren't scared..? My arms hung loosely around your hips.

I kept smiling because you gave the guard this look like she'd be sorry for intruding…she was wrong. Not us.

I started getting impatient too…started thinking _say what you want and get out,_ you know? But the guard doesn't get to. She doesn't get to say what she wants to say because your parents come barging past her. I think she was trying to announce their arrival…but I'd stopped listening…honestly I never started. I don't know if you've ever looked at yourself when you're naked, but it's hard to hear with that around. I feel like I'm blind to everything but your body…and it's not like my other senses get better. Everything else is on dim…and all my energy has to be focused on my eyes because the last thing I want to do is stop seeing

… I guess it might've also been hard to hear because every Lopez in the room was yelling.

When your voice started drifting into my head, it was still telling your parents to get (the fuck) out. The guard was gone and we must have fully turned around at some point because we were now facing Mr. and Mrs. Lopez. You'd started shoving my dress into my hands while attempting to curtain us with a very tiny sheet.

"Britt! Hello!? My parents can see your—"

"OH PLEASE! Santana what the hell is this?" Your mother screeches.

"This is Brittany," you say dismissively, dropping the sheet.

"I know who she is. THIS I said what is THIS. As in this situation I seem to have interrupted. As in your butt ass naked self in a penitentiary!"

You cross your arms and shrug like you weren't completely naked in front of your parents. They scoffed when they realized we just weren't going to get dressed…We should've been more awkward…or at least awkward at all…but personally, I like being naked; you were clearly doing it out of spite, and when your parents realized this was some kind of cowboy stand off, they just closed their eyes. I was trying really hard not to laugh…It's pretty crazy how you guys'll do anything to one up each other even if you're all miserable while doing it.

…. Anyway, I think they held their ground because they were too angry and confused to focus on anything that wasn't coming out of our mouths.

I mumbled something about your mom saying the word "penitentiary". It was making me upset how both everyone was calling it a jail. It made me think of you being caged in a zoo and I don't…well I didn't…like thinking of you that way…but that was before. Before I realized you're an animal.

"Don't say a word, Brittany. Your parents will have a field day with this one." Your mom responded to my mumble.

"What exactly were you two doing?" Your dad crossed his arms and took a cautious step forward.

To me that means he wants to hear a lie….Right? All that step forward meant to me was "say one word that I don't want to hear and all bets are off."

"Clearly we were doing laundry dad. Clearly we took off all of our clothes and were inspecting them for—"

"Santana," He growled. My heart skipped a beat…and you actually stopped talking.

"You know," He continued, " I am so God Damned tired of your smart ass remarks. Here you go ...doing something so wrong…screwing around with your _brother's_ girlfriend…and— and you don't even have the decency to be guilty about it. Not to mention all of the havoc you've reeked around this town in your short time back home… And you," His face turned blindly to where he had heard my voice come from.

" You come to our house and prey on our little boy and then take off with our daughter? And I suppose you think you're in love with her— "

I nodded at the ground…

"—Let me tell you something about my daughter, she will be whatever she needs to be to get what she wants."

"Dad?"

"Oh come on. You don't think your mom and I haven't watched you change into this…savage? …terrorizes her school, has no friends, and barely talks to us?"

"Such a…you were such a good little girl." Youe mom chimed in.

I wasn't going to look at you. I knew you were trying so hard to just roll your eyes, but they were stuck looking at the ceiling because tears were trying to get out and you didn't want to let them.

"You guys so are dumb." I finally said crossing my arms, "Dumb and mean."

"_Excuse _me?" Now Mrs. Lopez stepped forward.

"Are we now?" Mr. Lopez growled again.

"I'm sorry…because I know it hurts when people say that…but... it only hurts for me because I know it's not true. It won't feel so bad when you realize it's actually true for you."

I'll never understand why you chuckled and whispered "Oh shit."

"What?" I said turning to you.

"Nothing…nothing." You said smirking.

All four of us jumped at the very loud knocks that came to the door. Twenty four. There were twenty four of them. We didn't make any moves to cover up and Mr. Lopez opened the door anyway, he thought it might embarrass us…_right_.

The guard immediately looked away, "Jesus Christ…still?" She mumbled then turned to the wall and said, "Um, Ms. Lopez, your hearing is in half an hour. My partner and I are waiting outside to escort you."

Mr. Lopez opened his eyes finally, but looked towards the guard and followed her out. Mrs. Lopez opened her eyes too. But she actually looked at us…well more at you. Gosh it hurt. It wasn't even met for me, but that look hurt…it was like the worst kind of disgust and disappointment and she sent it right to you. I will always regret the need to see your reaction. I turned my whole head to see you try and approach her…like…_apologetically_ taking the smallest little step forward…How she could turn away from the expression on your face..I'll never…well she did. She gave this dismissive hand wave and walked out. I wanted to cry with you. I wanted _you_ to cry.

"Let me hug you." I whispered.

But you ignored me and I couldn't do anything but watch you get dressed.

Until then I kinda forgot where we were. I forgot that the next few hours would change your life…no matter what happened… there would be no good news. You had come here to be punished…there was no option where people would just forget about this whole thing. The best you could hope for was community service…and even then everyone would know. _Everyone would know._ You were a legend. But now you're notorious…the things people say will be kind of true …

And all you wanted was your mommy to tell you you'd be ok, right? But she didn't. Because you wouldn't be.

You put your clothes on slowly…even sadly. I slipped on my dress and my shoes and just waited…watching you fix your hair and your makeup…looking at you look at yourself in the rusty mirror.

"You can cry you know."

"You'd like that wouldn't you…" You said looking at me through the reflection.

"What?"

"You think I'm this tough exterior chick who just needs a little love, right? A little light hearted fucking and I'm cured?"

"…Santana no… I just…"

You stopped putting on your make up and turned to me as you stood up. I looked up at you as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"You can't understand how far up shit creek I am right now. So please. Don't try and—and comfort me…or make me your little bad chick-with-a-good-heart girlfriend. Because I'm not. I'm not a bad chick, K?"

"..ok…I—I know that…"

Then you hiccupped and started crying. "So what am I?"

I shook my head at the ground…It's not that I didn't know what you were…I just didn't want to say something wrong…so I let you continue.

"I mean what am I if I can't cry in front of my parents? If even _they _think I'm this heartless bitch? If I've fooled everyone…am I even pretending anymore? What am I God Damnit!? SAY SOMETHING!"

I stood up and walked to you. I wiped the tears from your eyes and shook my head,

"You're scared."

You glared at me and walked out, but not before muttering "Fuck off."

I must've been right on the money.

But I'm not writing to tell you what you already know. I'm writing because I want you to know that I was at your hearing…I left, but I did show up. And I hate you for doing what you did to yourself. You put yourself in there when you had other choices…all you had to do was publicly apologize to Figgins. Explain yourself. I hate you for being so fucking selfish. For not wanting anyone to know that you're a human. With feelings. Who was hurt and in love. You'd rather …

I mean you chose A MENTAL INSTITUTION! The point was to push you towards the right thing to do…the apology. You were supposed to be like "duh"... But your dad was right Santana. You will do anything to get you what you want. And you wanted to be right. Not sorry. Right. Being right means you didn't have to apologize. And if not apologizing meant going all Girl Interrupted..._God,_..EVEN SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY NEEDED MENTAL HELP WOULD CHOOSE THE STUPID APOLOGY

…and the worst part is…I know you almost did…you were so close

and then they said it.


	15. Chapter 15

Genuine.

They said a Genuine apology. And immediately I was like fuck this.—Sorry…um…frick this—because I don't…I haven't really ever said that to more than one person…so why in the fuck would –whatever I'm going to keep saying fuck and you just listen around it k? I can't do this without saying fuck…any way I was like why would I do that if I don't mean it? Especially at a public hearing? But I guess…here I am, right? I've been punished for so much stuff I didn't do…and now…

I know, it was stupid. But I really thought everyone would see my point. I did. I thought it'd be one of those martyr things... where I like die and 20 years later people are like…ohhhhhhhh. Now I get it…But then I was like…get what? What exactly did I want everyone to get? That I wasn't sorry? That's it? I was being all righteous and indignant, but basically I was just having this hissy fit of epic proportions…I just wasn't sorry…yet. . I actually did have things to own up to…certain people who deserve apologies…and uh. Um this makes it easier…because you're here. All of you. The people I scared…the ones I actually beat the shit out of and…the one…the one…who…drove me crazy enough that I had to commit myself…you can smile…it's a joke. Probably too soon…but …oh and the rest of you are here to. The ones who really have no right to hear me air out my dirty laundry…but whatever. This was the deal…and so…fuck it. Here goes.

It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. And I was too busy being indignant to think about where I was actually going…what I was actually doing…So when I got there…I finally realized this was really happening. I took a 5 hour ride upstate, but it didn't hit me till I actually got out of the van. The strange thing is that it was a beautiful day…the campus was even beautiful..really gorgeous greenery, sprawling for miles…all on a sunny day. But it was still like…a looney bin…and even though the outside was nice…there were people inside.

I thought maybe. Maybe I could totally Girl Interrupted this whole thing. Just play it cool..make some friends…sing some songs in a hallway…but like, with a shorter stay. I started to think, as I was checked in, about how I'd be sleeping next to a nut job…then how I wouldn't be sleeping at all…

This was nothing like Girl Interrupted. No Whoopi. No people even close to my age. It was like being in dentist waiting room ALL THE TIME. Looking at the old people and wondering how long they've been here…wondering what the hell we were doing in the same place …And then I felt so fucking dumb because they didn't _put_ themselves here.

There was this one woman. I guess she changed my mind.

I'd always see her crying and then quickly drying her tears as she spoke to herself. And I'm not gonna lie..at first I used to laugh…but then a few weeks in I started to get really sad whenever I looked at her. So one day I found myself strolling over and asking her what was up…I put a Werther's Original in her hand because I really didn't know what else to give her…She said her sister died. And I said when, she said 4 years ago…but sometimes you just get these memories…She started to say something about if she hadn't been in here when it happened…

Then I stopped listening. Not to be rude, I promise…because I couldn't believe I was missing out on this. On..you guys. Just because I was trying to throw a tantrum…It took a while, but after tons of appeals I got myself out in 6 months. I don't want to miss shit if I don't have to. There she was, suffering with no choice but to do so…and I was this selfish little bitch putting myself through struggles on purpose. _God_ I'm cringing just thinking about it. Really.

So…what I came here to say…what I…have to say…since it's the condition of my pardon—AND AND because I really actually want to say it! –

is that…I'm sorry.

I'm sorry Mom and Dad that you can't understand why I pretend to be this person. I'm sorry that I even turned into this…but I'm working on turning back…

I'm sorry Johana that I can't do this for you anymore. I had to tell everyone I was covering for you in order to clear my mental therapy…so..basically…your turn, you know? I'm sorry if you're not ready..but I think you could _really_ use the help. I'm sorry Quinn for beating the shit out of you. And that's it.

I'm sorry Rachel for beating the shit out of you…and bringing your carwash trauma back to life. Not even…ugh not even you deserve that. You're actually…Christ. You're not so bad ok? It was fun hanging out with you when you were all gung-ho about—uh _confronting_ Quinn. Finn I'm sorry you're a terrible dancer, singer, football player…general human being. I know that has nothing to do with me, but I figured while I'm doling out apologies…

I'm sorry Monty. Because, well. I know you don't want me to say this in front of the entire school but…I never meant to hurt you. I know you loved her…and I don't want you to hate me for what we have…because I don't plan on letting her go. And I'm hoping that you're still the Monty who wouldn't expect me to.

And finally…

I uh…I wrote this…when I…first read the yearbook. So. I figured…this'd be the best way to say sorry to…you Brittany.

_I wish we could go back to when you were my Halloween Unicorn…before this year happened…before you shut me out. These new Unicorns in the yearbook might seem like me and you, but they don't talk about what happened…they don't realize that that type of stuff hurts and people can't just pick up where they left off. I want to talk Britt. I want to go back and talk about it so we can really be together. Can we do that? Let's not pretend like nothing happened because I can't forgive you until I know what all of that meant. Maybe I did something…I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I did. I guess I could have told you how I felt. How you make me feel…like..like I love you. I feel like I love you. So as much as I want to be mad at you and hate you forever…we both know I won't. Because like those two Unicorns in your story…our manes are forever braided together._

I didn't think I could say that here. In front of all of you…but. I mean it and you'll have to excuse me because the woman I love is within arms reach and I've got to kiss those tears away before they hit her smile.

**Thank you for reading!**


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